Depressed artist, anyone experiencing this?
polycounter lvl 2
hi guys, im on my lowest point of my life, im a generalist 3d artist student
im focusing my work on character artist and environtment artist
there a lot of work to create one character or one asset especialy if that asset was sculpted
,and there a lot of tedious work
retopology, uv map, creating hair plane, creating proper texture, baking
each of those workflow did give headache and must have proper planning from the start
(i do know the workflow, so im not a newbie to this workflow)
sometime im kinda depressed with the workflow, especialy retopology and baking,
now im creating thesis, and well it kinda depressed work with many of asset alone and tight deadline
, and when i think i finish my stuff, there always a thing that didnt smooth as i planned
did everybody on the industry experienced a same stuff?, not that im complaining,
but yeah im really depressed with the amount of work
you can throw away your time 3 month or even a year but the progress was really slow,
im work everyday , 16 hour for my thesis, im skipping all holiday and work, work and always work
its like, im wake up, then eat and work 16 hour, then sleep, but its didn't come with reward
its like im a horrible artist and not improving
what the thing that keep you motivated and finished your work?
im focusing my work on character artist and environtment artist
there a lot of work to create one character or one asset especialy if that asset was sculpted
,and there a lot of tedious work
retopology, uv map, creating hair plane, creating proper texture, baking
each of those workflow did give headache and must have proper planning from the start
(i do know the workflow, so im not a newbie to this workflow)
sometime im kinda depressed with the workflow, especialy retopology and baking,
now im creating thesis, and well it kinda depressed work with many of asset alone and tight deadline
, and when i think i finish my stuff, there always a thing that didnt smooth as i planned
did everybody on the industry experienced a same stuff?, not that im complaining,
but yeah im really depressed with the amount of work
you can throw away your time 3 month or even a year but the progress was really slow,
im work everyday , 16 hour for my thesis, im skipping all holiday and work, work and always work
its like, im wake up, then eat and work 16 hour, then sleep, but its didn't come with reward
its like im a horrible artist and not improving
what the thing that keep you motivated and finished your work?
Replies
I have been a professional game artist for more than 20 years, and I am still not as good at art as I would like.
Getting good is not a goal but a process. Learn to love the process itself.
And take breaks. I improve the most after breaks.
here
http://wiki.polycount.com/wiki/Game_Industry
but maybe im too strict with myself,
im love being an artist, i love art, till now im always excited with game art and stuff
but somehow when the progress was slow even thought you investing lot of time, sometimes it make me frustated
im failed on my thesis 2 times, its not failed because it was bad, but i cant finish it, and i really feel bad for everybody that supporting me
and looks like i doing a same mistake and learn nothing on my 3 chance
For me this helped me create structure in the mess and cleared up more time for me to relax.
i realize im always skipping visiting my family and always say no to hang out with friend, somehow make my frustation accumulated
there still time to plan everything, you're right ,lack off planning stuff that make me even more confuse and unproductive
I think, a lot of us have something like it, especially if you come from a place where it's all 'no pain no gain'. That can just lead to the feeling that taking breaks and doing things for fun or with friends and family, hell, just even playing video games is BAD because you OBVIOUSLY could've spent that time on working on your art. And that's kinda where it goes wrong.
So yeah, I personally can recommend increasing break time. Walks, sport, going to a museum, hanging out with friends, making nice foods, remembering that there's been studies that people can't really be productive more than 8 hours a day. That type of stuff.
4 year i almost stop playing and go to other place just for fun take a break
glad there many supportive person here
i didnt know about that 8 hour a day stuff, glad you mention it
i think i should work only 8 hour a day and the rest for take a break
Ok....
Personally I'd always opt to talk to a friend or family rather than a doctor but that's just me.
It really sucks you feel this way during your studies as I never really felt that pressure until I was done and looking for work.
The first thing that caught my eye was you mentioning you're focusing on both being a character artist and an environment artist. As handy and great that would be I really think considering the sound of the strain you putting yourself under is to really pick one speciality and focus on that instead of stretching yourself so thin. Yeah totally some people can manage it but not everyone can and that's not a bad thing.
You also mention things dont go smoothly and trust me you are not the only one, any project I do I always come across an other mistake or an other problem. I always say I have to be the only one that gets certain problems but Im not, we've all been through it and eventually you will too will begin to just laugh when you come across a problem and you will get through it.
I have got to pretty bad points more times than I can count, especially this year being fired after barely over a month. But I take everything in my stride, it's all towards the greater cause and I'll except all the pain, struggle and depression because I know what I got myself in for. It's not supposed to be easy.
If I'm being completely honest the things that motivates me is firstly proving to people I can accomplish something I set my sights on. The other is comparing current work against old work. As mentioned previously after loosing my job I set out to improve and personally I did that I think or at least started well even after a few months and it's still ongoing and it's so exciting. I always questioned when I was having to work crazy hours to get stuff done and it was usually because I wasn't using my time correctly. I'm not saying you are but it always to maybe keep it in mind.
The BIGGEST thing I've learnt to keep myself well motivated is having ENOUGH SLEEP, it's something that many of us have sacrificed on so easily but really the less sleep you have the worse everything will seem. The second is regular excersises or at least something that can take your mind off everything. The last is similar to the second but it is trying to give yourself downtime. It may feel like you have to work to the bone but at the same time going out for pint with friends can work wonders.
I hope this helps. All the best.
When you said you put 16 hours of work everyday but couldn't achieve anything, you should ask yourself do you really doing anything on that hours? or most of the time spent thinking of how tedious the work will be? You mentioned that before you start any of those steps it'll give you headache, from what I can see that's because of you think too much and do less on the work itself. Don't lie to yourself.
I know this because I face the same problem before and I also see similar problem on most of junior artist on the studio.
And yeah, character and environment is a whole different thing, I suggest you focus on one.
If you decided on a environment/ props, don't start of with a long term project, probably find something that you know you can finish in 1 month period, with that you will finish the asset before you get worn off by the process.
The key thing here is overthinking. Of course you need to think and plan ahead your UV etc, but hope you get my point.
yeah you nail it, its too much thinking stuff its can be hard, its really easy concept, but when you applied it to complex character
there the nightmare appear, the software sometime lagging, and even crash, baking get many error, too many stuff to retopo ,
something error and i dont know how to solve
you should think ahead to prevent error but preventing something that you dont know sometime you really scared to move ahead,
and create other asset just for walk away
sometime i really think how can people can finish their work quickly without losing quality
i try not to overthinking for now on,but i dont know about there so much problem similiar like this
As someone looking in from the outside, you're getting stuck in a complex pipeline built for teams of people. You don't need normal map bakes and those smaller visual details. Scale down to a place where you feel more confident that you can deliver: simplify your animation's story to a "minimum viable product". Remember, Pixar's Luxo Jr. short was a moving story about two desk lamps and a ball!
Also, those breaks with friends and family are important -- they are part of your support network. We all need time to switch focus and recharge.
Cheerio
When I was working a retail security job after college I was easily at my lowest point because I went to college for game art, and turns out I was still an awful artist and was taught workflows decades old. All I did was wake up do studies, go to work, go to the gym, and then work into the early morning on improving.
And honestly, I think working out and exercising was easily the thing that kept me from sinking into some deep depression. I will say exercise isn't a miracle routine, but I definitely think there are some benefits when you spend 12+ hours a day at a desk.
http://www.helpguide.org/articles/exercise-fitness/emotional-benefits-of-exercise.htm
I feel your struggle with improvement though, I've been non-stop for awhile now. And although I know I've improved it just doesn't feel like enough. Obviously I think what everyone else said is pretty important too. Some down time with friends and family is also really important. At the end of the day it's just about balance, just try to make time for having fun with art and learning.