Plasma Rifle - render

Kirsten_Schow_3D

Hey, everyone, I just wanted to share a model I recently completed, hopefully it's an opening to create more fantastic models like this and better. I'm expanding my knowledge in modeling in hard surface to gaming modeling, so if anyone wants to critique this work, I'm open for it.

Also, if you would like to to critique my website, which has more work, I'd really appreciate it. I'm looking to make it even better and more presentable to potential employers. - http://kirstenschow.wix.com/portfolio

Kirsten_Schow_3D

I'm currently working on the UVs and hope to have it textured by the end of next month.

BucketOfNuggets

What is your reference? Some of it is reading a bit weird. The handle in the middle seems too sharp to hold and very uncomfortable. Also the general shape doesn't flow, you have a sharp square body running into curved shapes.

What are they cylinders on top? There is some pinching in the handle at the front. Also is the cylinder in the middle supposed to have hard faces?

It is a good start but needs more work, it also looks like it is missing a lot of smaller details. Using the Plasma rifle from doom as an example. See how every piece flows together and is held together by something. Screws, clips etc. 

Kirsten_Schow_3D

BucketOfNuggets said:

What is your reference? Some of it is reading a bit weird. The handle in the middle seems too sharp to hold and very uncomfortable. Also the general shape doesn't flow, you have a sharp square body running into curved shapes.

What are they cylinders on top? There is some pinching in the handle at the front. Also is the cylinder in the middle supposed to have hard faces?

It is a good start but needs more work, it also looks like it is missing a lot of smaller details. Using the Plasma rifle from doom as an example. See how every piece flows together and is held together by something. Screws, clips etc. 

The cylinders on top are a type of battery pack... making up for how the weapon is charged. My reference is my own drawing, with aspects used from other concept arts. It's the first time I've modeled a gun, so I've got a lot to learn from it. Thanks for the note on that handle in the middle, I'll fix it now.

And for the cylinders in the middle and on the back, yeah they are kind of faced; it's how I drew it in my concept art. But they are still softened with hold edges. Do you suggest that I just leave them round?

Here is my concept art. I did draw that handle a bit sharp... 

Brian "Panda" Choi

The design overall doesn't feel quite cohesive.  There's shapes that rhythmically don't jive with others, like the forward handle not playing with the muzzle handle, the two tubes that encircle the rear sight, etc.  A little more time should probably be spent with the concept to get it all feeling cohesive. 

Zi0

What panda said and try to make it look at bit ergonomic.