Competition Animation Critique - Feedback Much Appreciated!
polycounter lvl 3
Heya Polycount animators! For the past few weeks, I've been working on an animation for a student competition and I was really hoping to get some feedback for it. I'm done the first pass of half it, and I was wondering if I could get some feedback. A few things that I know that I need to address are the fingers and hair of the female character, as well as some of the lip sync (this was the first time using this rig, and I had some trouble using parts of the facial rig). I would really appreciate any and all feedback so that I can make the best piece that I can muster. Thanks so much!
https://youtu.be/155TwiUct3w
https://youtu.be/155TwiUct3w
Replies
- the hands for the green girl look too twinned. Also, they rise and fall at pretty much the same time. Break it up, have one arm offset from the other, also, don't have it doing exactly what the other arm is doing, I feel like there could be a stronger pose/action for this. Especially at the end for the double fist.
-Man, I would love for you upload to syncsketch so I could frame through but anyway, when the green girl says "I want out." and jerks her chest forward, the hips feel pinned in place. Also, I think they should be some really subtle overlap stuff on the head during this part as well. Just a little, not too much.
-The green girls eyebrows feel floaty at the start when they drop. Same goes for the eyes for the orange dude.
-I like the green girls opening bit where she says " You got to help me". I'm buying this. But at the end, when the emotion is getting more extreme and when she really wants to get out, I don't feel her frustration as much, you know. Act some stuff out and see what you can come up with.
-Orange dude turn around is too stiff. everything moves at exactly the same time and then just eases into an end pose. You could try experimenting with some stuff, like if he really doesn't want to speak to her, his head will probably be the last thing to start its motion. If he's angry, he might lead with his head, instead.
Keep going, you have a solid foundation here. Just need to loosen some stuff up and push some of the poses more. And yes, Life is Strange is GOTY!
-The girl for instance shrugs both shoulders, lifts and lowers both hands and so on, almost as if the body is mirrored.
-Also, you'll want to finese your limbs more so that the viewer can't tell which space you animated them in (IK or FK).
-Right now, they have sharp linear motions and static plants, making it feel like they have magnets in the hands.
-Even though the feet are out of frame you'll want to animate them to some degree, as this will dictate how your hips adjust and body shifts. Currently, you're characters feel like their on tracks, sliding around
Hope this helps, good luck on the next one.
In terms of your anim, I agree with Kielfiggins. Look at the hands, when they reach their most extreme position, they freeze making it look very IK. E.g. when she says i need out, hands go up and freeze for a second.
At "Killing people", you've got a nice hand pose for her right hand. Even got a nice little vibration in there which i'm liking a lot. But then the hand stays stuck there for a tiny moment before dropping. You see it?
I think I see a little offset for the girl when she drops her shoulders, I think her right shoulder drops first. This is nice but offset on the way up as well.
Orange dude feels like he turns on some sort of rotating wheel that he is standing on. Film yourself turning 180 degress, just do it naturally. You will see how much weight shifts actually occur when we are switching from one feet to another.
When she says "upstairs never said anything about......", you might want to have a rise in intensity for the actions. Right now, its turn left acertain amount, hold, turn right the same amount, hold, face forward. Break it up so maybe she turns left just a tiny bit but then she turns right more and then faces forward and says "...about killing people". She feels frustrated here like she is trying to hold in her anger. Maybe get her face closer to the guy and really shake those hands.
Just some stuff to think about, you interpret and make your own acting choices if you don't like mine. Keep going, its a great clip to animate to, and you've got some decent stuff here.
Also, I think I've seen you on Neogaf...
I think you`ve really got off to a great start with this. The guys above have given some fantastic feedback, so I don't have too too much to add.
First thing, did you film reference for this? If so, how closely did you follow it?
Over all, I think you just need more poses added in to break it all up. More overlap, more follow through. Just more... detail. Everything moves all at once, and in a very linear fashion.
For instance, When the woman grabs the man towards the end, the man has no movement. To make this more believable, she should really be shaking him, transferring the stress of her voice into her arms and into his body.
When she says "I need out", her body motion isn't very natural. her hands and body go down, then back up to pretty much the starting point. But if you act out that phrase, in the same tone, you don't really recoil like that. Or at least, I don't when I act it out. when I say "out", I tend to pause for a few seconds before my body naturally relaxes to listen to what the other guy has to say.
It seems like you just lacked the reference to get the nice details in there that your brain just doesn't naturally think about, YET. It's something that comes with time. The more reference you watch, and the closer you follow it, the more that stuff will come naturally. I actually started planning a shot using this voice clip as well, before they went out to the public. I didn't end up finishing it, but a bunch of us at work were going to do them just for practice. I must have filmed myself at least 75 times, picking and choose sections that I liked. Piecing it together in quicktime. I would just look for all the subtle stuff that I didn't mean to act out. The stuff that just happens naturally. That's the good stuff.
I really do think you have potential. I can see that glimmer in this piece. Certain parts are more polished than others. So maybe it was just too long for you to get done in time. Or it was over whelming. Neither are anything to be ashamed of.
Keep at it. Don't get discouraged. The more natural movements you want in your animation will come with time. Time spent animating. So get Maya back open and get to it! I believe!
I filmed some reference, but it didn't turn out so well because it was rushed (couldn't get friends to help film for very long, with it being the last semester of the year). I ended up scrapping it and just acting things out in front of my mirror, because of how things turned out. I guess the first order of business is to get out and re-film some reference so I can get the natural movement I'm lacking with the piece.
Once I'm done my last exam this week, I can consider myself graduated and then it's back into Maya to fix up my entire demo reel. I hope to show something better within the coming weeks. Again, thank you for being so thoughtful in your posts; I want nothing more than to be the best animator that I can be. ^_^ Also, goodfella, yeah my avatar and username is the same on gaf, so that's probably me. :P