oh wow! So much of what he was talking about hit me on a very deep level. So similar to how I felt when I was younger and so similar to the realization I´ve come to over the last few years about my ambitions, wants and my longing to do what I have done. I "retired" from the games industry in 2001 because I thought that it just wasn´t for me anymore, I was convinced I was utterly burned out from overtime work, crunches and deadline pressures. But 99% of it I believe was self anger, that built up over time and through a series of events that led me to stop making artwork for games. I had stopped listening to that voice, that drive and hunger, and had settled into the rut of the daily routine.
Now, 10 years later and 3 years shy of 40, I miss ever god damn minute of it. Not in the the glorified nostalgic way either. I long for that feeling of seeing a game hit gold, to see if people like it or not, to get the overwhelming feeling of completion when a project is done and wrapped. To share all that with creative and talented people every day that feel the same way. Now the only regret is having wasted 10 fkn years doing something I dont love.. Hell I even miss having to sleep under my desk on a tent-bed for weeks at a time to hit a deadline, because I felt it was worth it! How fkd up is that :P
Thank you Jaffe for that talk, and I hope the voice stays strong.
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I "retired" from the games industry in 2001 because I thought that it just wasn´t for me anymore, I was convinced I was utterly burned out from overtime work, crunches and deadline pressures. But 99% of it I believe was self anger, that built up over time and through a series of events that led me to stop making artwork for games. I had stopped listening to that voice, that drive and hunger, and had settled into the rut of the daily routine.
Now, 10 years later and 3 years shy of 40, I miss ever god damn minute of it. Not in the the glorified nostalgic way either.
I long for that feeling of seeing a game hit gold, to see if people like it or not, to get the overwhelming feeling of completion when a project is done and wrapped. To share all that with creative and talented people every day that feel the same way.
Now the only regret is having wasted 10 fkn years doing something I dont love.. Hell I even miss having to sleep under my desk on a tent-bed for weeks at a time to hit a deadline, because I felt it was worth it! How fkd up is that :P
Thank you Jaffe for that talk, and I hope the voice stays strong.