Sci Fi Sniper Rifle

jambro

Hello all! I'm currently working on the Sniper rifle concept by Jim Svanberg and would love some critiques.

Here is my concept


Here is my model

jambro

Here are some updated shots from marmoset

jambro

Could anybody give me some critiques? I'm looking to improve the model and my skills and techniques.

jambro

Update:
New geometry and this time rendered in Keyshot

DweenieTodd

The top part of the scope, the edges seems quite hard. Perhaps you could do with softening the normals on them. Otherwise keep going, it looks like an interesting concept and i'll keep my eye out on this!

jambro

Thanks Dweenie! I will definitely smooth out those normals. There is a little bit of pinching due to the inset on the front part of the scope, so I will have to fix that up!

ComradeDispenser

Wait... is this the highpoly?

jambro

Yes comradedispenser this is the high poly in progress

jambro

Update:
Here are some renders that show the details a little better. Today was my day to relax, but i'll be back to it tomorrow.

ComradeDispenser

I bid you good luck in baking that out.

Count Vader

A bunch of the curves that are smooth/continuous in the concept seem to have corners in yours, I would definitely work on eliminating those since they look less aesthetically pleasing and it tends to be a dead give-away of an 'amateurish' model.





I can see from the wireframe that this is caused in some cases by you not terminating edge loops from other details (such as those slanted vertical insets in the body) and letting them continue to areas where they don't belong. So yeah either terminate those edge loops, OR don't model those things into the body at all - if this is getting baked down to low poly, just do them as floating geo.

jambro

Comrade Thanks I'll do my best =D

CountVader I know exactly what you mean, and I am aware of this. I just didn't get to fixing the edge loops yet. I need to do this for the scope as well as the scope has a few hard edges to fix. Thank you for pointing out specific spots, and I will definitely get that fixed.

jambro

Going to be posting some updated shots later this week. Planning on having more details and I fixed the pinching problems. Stay tuned!

jambro

Update:

Here are 3 of my newest renders with added detail and the use of floating geo. Please let me know if there is anything I could do better! Please excuse the scope, I didn't have turbosmooth turned on when I exported my mesh.

jambro

Update: Haven't posted in a few days, but here are some renders with my wireframe overlayed. I'd love some feedback on how I can improve my polyflow and game ready meshes.

jambro

Please feel free to tell me everything I could improve on!

Shrike

Good work so far
Do you know about subdevision modeling ? Not sure what program you use, in 3DS its turbosmooth and it helps you make smooth edges and shapes without the need of beveling, give it a try you dont want to miss out : P  Check out Grant warwick hardsurface essentials
generally id strongly advise modeling after real world things as its easier to see mistakes, they learn you more, are worth more in your portfolio, draw in more interest and they look a lot better.

jambro

SHRIKE: I have been using turbosmooth! I used it on all my pieces for the high poly. Currently I am working on the unwrap, but I will keep in mind modeling after real world things to improve and build my portfolio! I think part of the problem is that i kept my edges too sharp.

Shrike

Ah, your edges are so sharp it looks like you didnt use it so I was wondering

jambro

Yeah I'll go in and soften them up some more before I start baking the normal map

jambro

Alright finally I have gotten back to this model. I am currently working on texturing it. C&C would be very appreciated!

jambro

Bumping for critiques

jambro

Here are some newer shots

jambro

Here is another update. Changed the material of the white metal to a white plastic. Added some grunge to the blue paint job. Changed the material for the screws to make them pop out more. 

jambro

New update, I think I'm just about done with this piece.