(WIP) The angry golfer - Please help me improve my first portfolio creation

Bobbystj

Hello everyone!

First of all,
let me introduce myself, My name is Bob I'm a student at Institut Desgraff in Montreal for almost a year now, I had little to no experience when I started learning to create 3d art but I am really enjoying it and I try to practice as much as I can. I wish someday to become a character artist either in movie or video game both interest me equally. And pardon my English I'm french

The course is now coming to an end and i have to create a piece for my portfolio, so I decided to create a cartoonish golfer who had a bad day of golf and he's very pissed about it, he's leaving in his golf cart at full speed. I would like to ask for your help to tell me what need to be worked on and what are my mistake, I thank you in advance for taking the time to help me get better.

Here are some picture to show you what I've done so far

blinKX10

Currently the characters facial expression is very symmetrical,just slightly off-set one side of the mouth and raise the opposite eyebrow a tad. Rotate the hands up more to get a more natural grip on the wheel. Lastly raise his cheeks up a bit to enhance the anger in his expression.

As for the cart, maybe add some dents and grass stains on it. This guy is pissed off so he might have a little road rage.

Bobbystj

Hi BlinKX10 thanks alot for your feedback, i agree with your point and i also noticed some interpenetration i did'nt see before the render i'll be working on this lather today and i'll post my progress as soon as possible. Thanks again!

Bobbystj

Hello again! it took longer than I expected because I didn't had much time to work on it in the last week but here is some progress I did using your (blinKX10's) feedback and I think it improved a bit.




and I started working on a *turn table?*


tell me what you guys think and again thanks for the support !

killnpc

Great idea for a subject. It isn't clear exactly what the story is here, which makes me confused as a viewer. I assume he's just destroyed his club and is now got a thousand mile stare sitting in the cart ready to drive off. I feel like there is a missed opportunity for a joke here.

And I think your shapes are too mild and balanced for a cartoon character, the exaggerations are mild. Making the man larger than the cart or the tires smaller might help were that the desire. Even his face is flushed at about a realistic hue. Like all of the visual messaging is at a whisper. So, just stating I'm getting a weird juxtaposition of expectation, which could be more my problem.

Aside from those criticisms, it's very clean work.