Dark Gal
polycounter lvl 6
um ... i need to provide some info for this right? right
she's young, late teens or early 20s (maybe the later ... i dunno if thats relevant)
the characters name is Dark Gal, she's a powerful telekinetic working for a secret government organization kind of like shield ...
ok i gotta admit there's some heavy influence from xmen and marvel comics stuff like that what can i say i grew up with the stuff #' _'#
ok um ... i dunno, would that suffice?
Replies
Hmmm ... I feel like something isnt working here ...
If it is the former, the character background is very weak. A powerful telekinetic teenager working for a secret government organisation is as cheesy as it gets. At present, the concept would work only if it was highly self aware and meta.
Are you going for a stylised look like a design that may be seen on a kid's show or the like?
Best,
Gavin
Lamb, there is more to critique about the piece beyond the backstory, and I think we can say that the backstory is more a trope by this point than that it's cheesy. I don't think it's very helpful to someone to just give them a drive-by 'cheesy'...
Gavinli, you should be a bit more self-confident about your ability to see the purpose of a piece. It's might just be very obvious what the intend is, and even if it isn't there is still style-agnostic things that can be given an attempt to critique.
Nelson-press, I have to admit, your name came somewhat familiar to me, and according to my critique folder I gave you criticism before at blender artist. This is quite a different piece though, so let's get started
So, you know me, I do draw-overs by default. Check the attachment.
1. The biggest issue that pops out to me is the fact that the torso-abdomen area is too small. There's enough space for the ribcase, but not enough for the belly, it's contents, and then the pelvis. It makes her look a bit awkward, and I think you can sacrifice some leg-space to give her a better torso.
2. The hands are indeed an issue, but I am not sure what unresolved means in this case. My personal problem is that the angling of the hands is inconsistent with the anglish of the wrists, making the whole thing look a bit painful. I looked up some flapper-girls doing jazzhands, and some gymnasts pushing themselves up. The two photos were the best I could find. These should give you an idea of why the angle of the elbow looks awkward with the angle of the wrist.
3. The face is indeed a little flat, but this is partially due to the way how you deny the eyes to interact with the shape of the whole face. This can be a stylistic choice and is a type of choice associated with Japanese Manga stylisation. Otherwise I recommend making the eyes a little smaller. The lips are... an interesting part of the drawing. Yes, they are too large(especially the upperlip), but be careful with making them smaller, because she has a really nice determined look to it.
4. The neck is a bit awkwardly attached to the head. Please experiment with moving the head around a little so that it looks like her jaw is attached to her neck somehow.
5. Boots are awkward due to feet being awkward, but I think if you look up some references of boots, and watch the length of the lower legs.
6. On a character design point. Why is the government letting her run around in a skirt? Is she also a magical girl? Is she a catholic school girl? Is she being dressed by Edna Mode? Think good about what kind of girl would come to her work breaking the dress-code and still be employed. It can help you define her clothes more.
6b. She looks like a Teenager? Ask yourself why a teenager would be employed by the government, and who is her handler. That'll help you too to dress her more specifically.
Good points:
* Did you do the second one yourself? You've got a nice confident stroke going on there, nice!
* Also, looking at the previous critique I gave you, you really improved! Your usage of suggestion is much better than previously.
* As mentioned before, I like the determined look on her face. People tend to be scared to put angry looks on girls because that introduces folds, and folds tend to bring out the weaknesses in their character designs(the usual excuse is that women are hard to draw and need as little possible folds make them look old and ugly, this is bullshit).
That's some wonderful feedback to go on for nelson_press - thank you for putting that up and I'll note what you suggested for me too. Keep it up!
Best,
Gavin