Hey Polycount:
I'm looking for a critique on my Art Outsource Associate cover letter I want to send to Blizzard. Specifically, there are three hyperlinks in the cover letter that I hope works well to further reveal who I am as a person, colleague, and friend, and not just a game developer. And talking with HR there, apparently this is the most effective way to format it in without making them sad.
February 13, 2015
Blizzard Entertainment
P.O Box 18979
Irvine, CA 92623
To the Overwatch team:
Hi, my name is Brian Choi, and I am applying for the Art Outsource Associate position on the Overwatch team as advertised on Blizzard’s company website.
I’ve lead remote art teams of 15+ artists for the RTS The Maestros and Arcade MOBA Core Overload, both projects that demanded large volumes of character, environment, VFX, and animation assets. The challenging opportunity not only grew my aspirations, but also allowed me to help contribute positively to familial team culture. If that meant
playing Scottish bagpipes in the labs in the evening to invigorate teammates, or
announcing our game’s shoutcast as a boxing match announcer, I wanted to take point on it. As much as executing well matters, contributing to a strong team culture is what I fight for as well.
Doing what I can to help fellow colleagues has been an undercurrent in my professional life, as much as making solid player experiences is. Even on an art podcast like
Sketch.Zone or on Polycount.com, I want to make sure the people I meet walk away happier or better. Like those who have taught me, I want to serve others just as well, whether that means helping facilitate a large volume of art documentation to lighten tech art’s load, staying up with a colleague in Greece to figure out some sculpting problems.
I’m always looking for the studio family that I could “bake cookies for,” while assertively working to craft a vision into execution. Since interning on Diablo 3, Blizzard Entertainment has always been to me as one of those few places: a studio invested in its developers and finishing strong. And after seeing Overwatch’s bright, optimistic voice, I want to help lead that charge that pushes the studio to the next era alongside fellow heroes.
I would love the opportunity to discuss the position at your earliest convenience. Thank you in advance for considering my application.
Sincerely,
Brian Choi
Replies
- Don't come off as crazy, BChoi. You know you're crazy sometimes.
- Don't be weird.
1. I would take out the part about the bagpipes and boxing match announcer.
2. The opening sentence of the next paragraph is weird. It just needs to be re-written.
3. The paragraph about the games uses a lot of words but doesn't seem to say anything. For example, " And after seeing Overwatch’s bright, optimistic voice". What does that even mean? It sounds like high school English writing bullshit (a bit blunt but ya..). Maybe take some more time to use some better descriptors of the game that make it apparent that you've really done research on the art of the game?
Those things in my opinion are just weird and unprofessional.
Bright optimistic voice is a sugar coating sentence
Baking cookies even in a cover letter is just weird
I want to make sure the people I meet walk away happier or better. This sounds like you'll bribe them with new shoes to go away or they're happy to get away from you.
What significance does playing bagpipes have in a cover letter for art outsourcing.
"Like those who have taught me, I want to serve others just as well, whether that means helping facilitate a large volume of art documentation to lighten tech arts load" This is like saying "I want to join the art team so I can lighten the art workload on the art team"
Staying up with a colleague in Greece to figure out some sculpting problems. And this is by far the weirdest I've read in this cover letter.
This cover letter in my critical eyes looks really unprofessional.
Anyway.
This is how I'd structure a cover letter because it gives all the relevant info:
"Dear Mr/Ms Whatever," if you're writing to someone specific, or "To whom it may concern," if you don't know where the email is going specifically. Sometimes applications go straight to HR or a recruiter, and sometimes they go straight to art directors or the team you're applying to.
Then:
- Tell them what you're contacting them about. Be specific. If someone referred you, mention it in the first or second sentence.
- Tell them your qualifications. This is a short-form resume that covers your experience, special skills, and any details that are specifically relevant to the position for which you are applying.
- Put a link to your portfolio, and make sure that shit works. If you have any other links you'd like to give them, such as a secondary site that shows a wider variety of skills, a LinkedIn profile, or a resume, stick it here.
- Tell them why you want to work for them. And don't type something like "I LIEK MAEK VIDYAGAEMS HIRE PLZ." Show them that you know what their company and projects are about, and show them that you have an interest.
When/if you write this cover letter, keep the paragraphs short. Three to four sentences each for the first three paragraphs should probably be the maximum. You can get a little more flowery with the fourth paragraph, but you don't want to sound like a crazy person.Finally, sign off with something along the lines of "Thank you for taking the time to consider my application. I hope to hear from you soon!" And then put your signature so it looks something like this (but please, not this specifically, because that would be silly):
Xavier Coelho-Kostolny
3D Character Artist
www.xavierck.com
So. Example:
Once again, this is all just personal opinion. That said, most cover letters/application emails I've seen completely fail to provide relevant information, or they're way too fucking long. And goddamn, I've seen a hell of a lot of them over the past year.
It looks fine to me. I'm not sure you need to overthink it.
I'd be looking for someone who is smart, organized, nice to work with, and ideally has some relevant experience (since Blizzard is quite 'top tier', having experience is probably an absolute requirement).
You letter points out early on that you have some relevant experience. Great! Then it goes on with various things that imply you are probably a nice person. Good. I'm not bothered by the specifics, or length, or anything else in the letter. If anything, you could possibly add a bit more detail regarding relevant skills. In particular, you are actually a game artist who knows how art assets are created. That is a strong plus, and plenty of people applying for this position might not have that background. You should probably mention it earlier in the letter (you mention an intership on Diablo 3. You should probably mention what discipline the internship involved i.e. art creation, associate producer or whatever it was).
Talking with my old HR contact who was with me during my internship there she wrote this when I asked her about adding a video. (A quote from a longer email)
He/she makes it sound like "Don't restate what you have on your resume, we can read that easily. This cover letter should tell us what your resume does not."
Am I still in the red for being so . . . personal and leaving myself open to funnny looks with the way the cover letter is right now?
And personally for me, I'm tired of just seeing other developers as just people who work, or presenting myself as "I can make game art, yipee!" If there's an opportunity to be both effectively professional, but personable (as a friend), wouldn't that be a decent opportunity to take?
Not trying to say the advice is not valuable, but Blizzard as a body seems to expect differently about this portion of the application.
Maybe i'll look like a retard but what's an " Outsource " job ?
Thanks !
btw I uploaded Allan MCkay's cover letter if you want to read it
http://www.aryasowti.com/AllanMcKay_EmailScripts_JobLetter1.pdf
Did my best to implement your critiques and pare down the unneeded fluff from the cover letter and add more about what I did as a developer.
Hopefully this is a better draft. Thinking about sending it by tonight
PDF link here. What does everyone think? Any additional critiques?
Imagine being a member of a recruiting department, being in charge of sorting out cover letters ... and having your boss enter the room while you are seemingly randomly browsing FB.
But again, that's just my personal take on this. I am actually not sure if I am even supposed to comment in a thread like this one, so I'll leave it at that.
And good luck !
Did the preface parentheticals, pior. Good call on that I think.