Man2: I'm gonna keep the coke and the fries but I'm gonna send this burger back. And if you put any mayonnaise on it, I'm gonna come over to your house, I'll chop your legs off, set fire to your house, and watch as you drag your bloody stumps out the door.
[after a beat, the waiter turns to Man1]
Man1: I'm fine.
[the waiter leaves, and Man2 starts laughing]
Man2: Fine? Let me tell you something. You are *not* fine. Do you know your wife wants you dead?
Man1: [tugs off his wedding ring] That much I've figured out.
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you're up