Problems with Communication...
polycounter lvl 10
EDIT: Sorry, computer froze and accidentally subbed an empty thread!
I had a quick scan through the threads already but I couldn't find any relevant discussions, so apologies if this has already been discussed.
So last month, I finally landed a job at a big studio. When I first found out, I was ecstatic - I was so overjoyed that I'd had a result after all these years.
I've been working from home for the past few years, before I started working full-time (which I talked about in another thread a while ago), so I didn't really talk to peers much, except through skype chat (which was one of the reasons why I really wanted to work in a studio).
I've really enjoyed my time there so far. Everyone is really friendly and approachable, and all in all, it's a great place to work. Only, whenever I try and communicate my ideas to others, I freeze up. I listen to others talk around me and they have no difficulty saying what they want and how they're going to do it, what needs improvement, what works, what doesn't etc. I find it hard to communicate with confidence!
I know I'm fully capable of doing the job. When I see all of the work being produced, I feel as though I can meet the standard required, but I just can't seem to make myself believe it, if that makes sense.
I know it sounds daft, but another issue is my accent. I'm from the north west of england and I talk quite broad
Just wondering if anyone has experienced anything like this?
Cheers!
I had a quick scan through the threads already but I couldn't find any relevant discussions, so apologies if this has already been discussed.
So last month, I finally landed a job at a big studio. When I first found out, I was ecstatic - I was so overjoyed that I'd had a result after all these years.
I've been working from home for the past few years, before I started working full-time (which I talked about in another thread a while ago), so I didn't really talk to peers much, except through skype chat (which was one of the reasons why I really wanted to work in a studio).
I've really enjoyed my time there so far. Everyone is really friendly and approachable, and all in all, it's a great place to work. Only, whenever I try and communicate my ideas to others, I freeze up. I listen to others talk around me and they have no difficulty saying what they want and how they're going to do it, what needs improvement, what works, what doesn't etc. I find it hard to communicate with confidence!
I know I'm fully capable of doing the job. When I see all of the work being produced, I feel as though I can meet the standard required, but I just can't seem to make myself believe it, if that makes sense.
I know it sounds daft, but another issue is my accent. I'm from the north west of england and I talk quite broad
Just wondering if anyone has experienced anything like this?
Cheers!
Replies
Blizzard Entertainment had a down side for me, in that way.
@JadeEyePanda good to hear someone understands
Before I go in every morning, I say to myself just relax, be yourself, there's nothing to fear etc. But when the time comes, it just all falls apart. I've given it a lot of thought, and I think it must be a self-esteem thing. For some reason, I seem to fear what others will think of me, like I'm frightened of "losing" something, in a sense, if I don't say or do the right thing.
I seem to have difficulty fitting in
It's strange, I've given so much thought to actually obtaining a job in the industry, that I gave little thought to what I might actually expect once I got it!
Thanks man
I'm sure as you get more comfortable with everyone at the studio, this will be a lot easier. You're still relatively new there so it will take some time to settle in. Try not to stress about and just take it as it comes. If you can hang out with some of your work mates in a more social setting outside the pressures of work you might find it a little easier to build relationships as well, which will make it easier to converse at work.
Yeah, there's definitely a lot of social awkwardness around. I sometimes feel completely incapable of just talking to people, which feels pretty damn scary!
Other times though I feel fine. Think I should just stop obsessing over things. I guess the only way to become more comfortable is to, like you say, just go with the flow and not get too worked up about it.
That's a good idea too about hanging out with work mates outside work. I also went to the christmas party a couple of weeks ago, and got the chance to speak to some of the guys who work near me. It was good to speak with them outside work, and I felt more comfortable around them after that. So it certainly helps!
I'll try and keep that up whenever I get the opportunity
Cheers!
yeah the good old after work beer exists for a reason, socializing with your mates outside of work will not only strenghten your personal connection with your colleagues but also help you understand them better.
i haven´t realy experienced what you are talking about personally, but i´ve seen it on others.
often its simply the fear of confrontation, even if you are not criticizing anything directly, voicing your personal ideas is always to some extent an act of confrontation that might cause you to "freeze up" as you say.
my advice would be to befriend your coworkers, get to know them on a personal level so that you can trust them and they can trust you.
everyone has an oppinion of things that are happening at work, that they probably wont publicly speak about.
but speaking about that stuff with your coworkers outside of work will give you a first informed opinion and if they aggree with you that should give you confidence to mention it at work.
My last boss and I got to be real good friends because we had a similar taste in art-styles and I would periodically send over sweet sci-fi game art and he the same(he is more VFX). I would also go home every day and spend at least 2 hours working on a personal project and more on the weekends.
At the end of the week I would go to his desk and he would give some awesome crits on how I could improve my project. I was also able to give him crits on his project as well.
The back and forth helped build a good working relationship, and it improved my art skills super super quickly. It also helped me understand what good critique was and how to best deliver it. It may be different beause it was a smaller studio but I would try to see if anyone in your office has a similar taste in art and go from there
Good luck dude!
Yeah I did go out with a few guys for a beer on the friday before the holidays. We all had a nice chat and it seemed like the pressure was off and I felt really at ease with everyone
One thing with me is, that I seem to be dwelling on trivial things too much. I'll get carried away and start jumping to conclusions about awkward social interactions I've had etc. Hopefully though, it's just nerves and settling in.
I suppose when it all comes down to it, I'm worried about not being taken seriously - like I'm going to be exposed as some kind of fraud, as silly as it sounds! I've put so much emphasis on breaking into the industry, that now I finally have, I'm terrified I'm going to mess it up.
@beefaroni that's a good idea mate! I should say, that one thing that struck me when I went to the christmas party, was how many people had similar interests to me. I've overheard a lot of them talking in work too about different things that I like, but I've rarely got involved yet. I'll try and make more of an effort with it and see how it goes.
Thanks for your help guys, I appreciate it
You said that you've been working from home for the past few years, and didn't really talk to peers much. Well, human are social creatures, if you stay in your cave for a long time, you'll forgot how to communicate to others. Beside you just got a job at a big studio, it's a great place to work, everyone around is professional, so you don't make conversation because you afraid that you gonna say something stupid, and people gonna judge you.
With all that condition you're building up something, I believe they call it "anxiety". Basically, you feel awkward to talk to people and obsessing about what they think about you.
But don't worries mate, just put yourself out there and talk to people more, it gonna be awkward at first, but you'll feel more confident through time, and everything will get back to normal
They also wrote a lot about this topic, you can google some books or programs, might be you could get some tips from there.
btw, congrats on your new job, and good luck.
This reminds me of a section in Neil Gaiman's speech, skip to 7:10 for it but I recommend listening to it all, it's great:
[ame]
I think once you relax and get over this feeling you'll be OK and you'll stop over thinking things and just go with the flow.
Personally I'm quite a quiet person myself and it took a bit of time to open up and be confident but it will happen, it just takes time. So relax and enjoy yourself
Yeah I have a few books on the subject already! I've not been back to them for a while though. I'll go back and refresh.
Thanks mate
That video was brilliant Ex-Ray! Thanks for sharing it
It's a realization that I've arrived at many times, but I keep forgetting it hah.
Yeah I'm pretty quiet also. Hopefully with time, I'll gain confidence and open up a bit too!
Thanks for your help mate, I feel a lot better about it now