Tesla gun PBR
polycounter lvl 2
Hi polycounters,
I have been working on this gun lately. I need your critiques and comments to help me bring this to portfolio quality.
I have been working on this gun lately. I need your critiques and comments to help me bring this to portfolio quality.
Replies
a handful of subsurface scratches on the metal and nicks in the wood would go a long way as well.
While I do enjoy the simplicity of the design with the rather nice metal flourish you have going on, it feels a bit empty in sort of looking like a rubber band gun if you get my meaning.
I'd imagine this is some sort of pistol, so maybe you can introduce a few more "technological" elements more towards the rear of the gun nearby where the sights would normally be, both to increase the readability that its some sort of energy-powered weapon and also to help balance that the pistol currently looks like it might be too heavily weighted at the end of the gun rather than having an even balance. (all of that metal+techno stuff in the front vs the wooden pistol grip in the back = I'd imagine it being very weighted down at the end, possibly making it hard to comfortably hold as a pistol with one hand)
Keep in mind I'm by no means a pistol/gun expert, but the ultimate message I'm trying to convey is to make the gun more obvious in how it is powered by some sort of tesla/energy-based technology, and perhaps introduce mechanical bits of where the weapon could have attachments or be disassembled for replacement parts, rather than one solid piece. I'm not sure if this design really needs it, but you could always play around with some parts that give off an emissive glow for that tech feel. Maybe even tiny little tesla light bulbs on the side (an old tech version of LEDs basically) that indicate things like cooldowns/gun is recharging/ready/safety/etc. I'm not saying you have to do exactly that, just some food for thought on how you might make the weapon's function a bit more obvious to a viewer.
Anyways there's my two cents, take with that would you will
I do feel that the design is currently a bit too front heavy and the back feels entirely too plain when compared to the intricate detail towards the front of the barrel.
Somehow the design of the gun reminds me of an old tallship, so maybe pulling more of those influences in will help you come up with a solid direction to take this.
My only other real crit is that the material definition of the wood on the handle isn't being pushed far enough. It doesn't feel believable to me, the grain is too uniform and the weathering you have is in odd places around the edges that don't feel natural. I would look at the grips of old pistols and see how the areas are worn by contact with the hand and fingers.
Hope this helps. Can't wait to see where you go with this!
Some suggestions:
- Start picking out different metals on the interior bits and the nozzles at the end of the barrel. Brass, copper, gold, etc. It will help break up the swath of gold.
- The wood definitely needs some variation as others have pointed out. The NRA Museum has some great reference galleries for weathered wood.
- If you haven't already, check out The Order: 1886 screenshots. They do a great job of separating their materials out.
It's really good work so far, keep it up!
@Gonzo: Of course I checked on the Order 1886. As I started this project I had in mind that I would like too make something that could fit in this game.
1. the way this metal is set between the wood is great. It's also nearly invisible. This metal just feels way too dark, and you lose the detail.
2. This particular edge feels really low poly.
3. Why are all the screws rotated the same? maybe it's accurate or something but...throws me off.
4. Everyone is talking about the wood treatment. I think the big thing is that it's lacking contrast. I mean either it's polished and shinier than this, or it's way more dull. Seems people always mention the oils from your hands, and how the parts you grip would get more oily, and the crevices would get more dull over time. Just try to push the contrast of the roughness with these types of details in mind.
5. This particular edge feels really harsh/lowpoly to me. Feels like it didn't bake well...maybe the bevels were too thin?
6. What's going on in here? Is it a coil? If so, you could have less/thicker coils, you could give them a slant, you could get a normal to read much better, etc?
7. I wish this pattern was a little larger, so there was less open space around the design. Also it feels slightly off-center?
8. Wish there was more material variation in here...what about using the darker metal on some of these rings, to pop out the forms a bit?
I'm looking for the character. Often things appear to be either clean, or uniformly scratched/noisy. What about the single deep scratch or cut in the wood, or the dent or gash in the metal? I know this is done via substance, but there are still ways...find a way.
Where's the Focal point? Maybe not something you are thinking about yet, and that's fine. But for a final render, think about really darkening your fill light and highlighting a focal point, like faking the electricity giving more of a blue falloff to the front of the gun or something. Warm & Cool colors, play it up.