Building my Portfolio - Need your Feedback ;)

DonCornholio

Hello Polycount !
I'm a student from Germany, currently in his 6th Semester, who needs to build up his Portfolio. I will post my Models and work in progress screens here, in the hope of getting some feedback that might help improving my skills.
I've been working on a few decent Game/Mod Projects in the past 5 years, but all this Stuff is old and ugly, so i'll start this Portfolio from scratch.

First Piece will be a fantasy style Sword, that i've been working wayyyy to long on.
I know i should have seeked help here earler, but i kinda was afraid to embarrass myself :poly142: .

I'm currently finishing the high poly phase, and i've got some things that i already dont like but i want to hear what other people think first, before i get lost in tweaking every little detail ^^.

So here it is , now tear it apart ! :












Thanks in Advance for all your help

billymcguffin

The feathers look too uniform and not feathery to me. Try adding detail to the individual feathers and ruffle 'em up a little bit.

Also the pommel thing at the end of the grip looks a little blobby. Is it metal? if so try to make it more solid, then add in some dents/scratches/whatever.

Cool design!

PyrZern

Are they supposed to be real feathers attached to the sword. Or are they made of bronze or steel to look like bird' wings ?

rogelio

If the feathers are metal it will be really hard to swing this sword in reality it would keep stabbing you while you swing. For functionality and combat readiness a guard can be placed in the front that is the normal place weapon smiths would add decorations like below.

DonCornholio

Hey guys, thanks a lot for the feedback !

@PyrZern: You're right the feathers are supposed to be made of metal.

@billyMcGuffin: I'm currently working on the pommel thing, thanks for the hint ! I probably won't change too much about the feathers though, because i think they're adequate for metal feathers and i want to bake them to a plane later on which would be much harder if the feathers were poking out at more varying angles. But i will be on the lookout for ways to bring a little extra detail to them.

@rogelio: I know that's a flaw of the design, but i don't think it's something that i can adjust without completely redoing that part and dismissing the original design. I think i can live with that as its supposed to be some unreal fantasy thing anyways. But i would like to know if you think that's a no go for a portfolio piece ?

I'm sorry for not being able to incorporate every piece of advice you give me, but i'm a bit short on time with this thing as i have already spend way too much on it. For the next piece i will post here right from the start.

rogelio

I understand you can not incorporate every piece of advice, but honestly that redesign would be like a few mins maybe an hour of work. As of right now that sticks out to me the most.

The design is ok especially considering it is a fantasy sword like Wow style games. Just a general tip. The strongest designs I have seen in my experience have been ones that take things further and to the extreme while still working well with the actual functionality of the object.

As of right now we have a sword that is of the wow type fantasy style. Unless you have like 50 different designs this prop alone will not really be all that interesting for a portfolio piece. So you have two choices make tons more of these swords or make one really kick ass sword with all the bells and whistles done right. Like what would a next gen wow style sword look like...

BARDLER

To be completely honest I think there are better projects you could be spending your time on for a portfolio. I think the design you have is not very strong, and I do not think it is going to grab the attention of an employer. I think it would be wise to make something with a little more meat to it, on both an design level and technical modeling level.

For example, I searched "game prop artist," on google images and here are some pictures of props that grabbed my attention.







Not saying you should make exactly what I posted, but I think all of those images give you an idea of smaller projects that you can do for portfolio, but if done well can impress employers more. If you want to do something fantasy related then I am sure you can find plenty of concepts similar to these that would be interesting to model.

Hope that helps, and I hope that did not come off as to harsh. Just trying to help.

DonCornholio

rogelio: I didnt think this was a big deal, but you're obviously right. Making those wings was really time consuming so i wasnt too keen about changing them again. I'm now trying to bend those wings into a sphere like shape to make it look more like a real hand protection.
May i ask how you would approach a redesign of those wings ? what tools would you use ? I tried to do this in Zbrush but i couldnt find any tool that would get me clean results, so im trying to do this in max now with the ffd modifier and some manual tweaking. This is the little progress i've made so far, just to show in what direction i'm heading now





Bardler: Ok i guess thats your opinion, but there's also people who liked the design. Maybe my future employer will love the design (who knows maybe he has bad taste ^^ ). For now i just want to finish this model the best way i can. But i will take your advice and next time model from a well selected concept. Though i always thought you should have original pieces in your portfolio, as modelling from a concept, that you didnt make yourself, may be seen as plagiarism?

slosh

I think what you have will make a solid folio piece if you do it right and it seems you are on the right track. As for following a concept, there is nothing wrong with that either. In fact, that is what you will be doing 99% of the time at an industry job; following a concept to a T that was handed to you. As long as you give credit to whoever's concept you used, it is fine. This is not considered plagiarism at all.

rogelio

Last crits

of course optional

1- I like the curved wings a lot more the only issue I still see is the area with the handle seems compressed so if you were to have your hand and you swing one way or the other it might limit the movement and the wings might hit the wrists. Minor thing I know but details are details

2- After looking at the blade it feels a bit flimsy maybe giving it more girth width would be good.

3- the bird eagle embellishment is nice but needs more sculpting to really pull those already nice shapes implied in it.

4- now that you curved the tail it might be nice to have a thicker metal guard connecting the bottom of the of the handle to give it that extra bit that this can defend well idea. maybe you can incorporate a eagle leg motif for the front guard of sorts.

just suggestions keep going.

DonCornholio

Thank you so much for all the input, it is really invaluable to me !
I will post an update as soon as possible, probably at wednesday, but until then i must do some work on my bachelor thesis which i have neglected for too long ^^

DonCornholio

Just wanted to add an update to my thread, which i will pick up again soon. I had lots of stuff to do for university, and only rarely found time to work on that eagle sword. But i think i've made some progress and wanted to share it with you. Feel free to give constructive criticism if you want to, it's just a zbrush highpoly render and still far from finished ^^

marcobar

I think more thought and intentionality needs to go into the wear and tear of the blade. For example, how can there be deep gouges like the ones beside the runes, yet the edge of the blade has remained pristine across the whole length of the sword? The scratches across the blade also feel too random to me, and if you look closely you can spot the repetition of the brush - maybe consider switching to freehand as opposed to dots for a smoother edge? I've also found that approaching a Dam_Standard crack (if that's how you're doing it) with Flatten or trim brushes afterward to give it a more chiseled look can help hard surfaces look less lumpy-bumpy.

Finally, I'd also question the crudeness of how the runes are carved into the blade - I feel like it clashes with the very ornate hilt, at the moment. Otherwise I think it's coming along: I like the clear definition of different metals between blade and hilt, and it seems like you're starting to do the same with the leather wrapping. Keep it up!

Ootrick

It's interesting all in all, needs texture work.

If your looking for crits I'd have to jump on board with the design needing work.
I'm not reading the elements of the sword as a complete package. The mood for the handle is very civilized, almost royal. The blade is chaotic, rugged, really savage. The runes are not doing you any favours, especially the ones touching the back-end of the blade where the gaping section is. I'd really like to see a more elegant, elongated blade much like a rapier with the same theme/mood as the handle. It can still be jagged and devastating just make it look less brute-ish. It looks like two completely different styles.

You have great modelling/sculpting skills, lets push the spots your having troubles with.