[UDK] Temple on Mars (feedback appreciated)

Nine15ths

Hey guys!

New iteration (2nd May)







OP:

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I originally started this work in February for the Environment noob challenge. Unfortunately halfway through Feb I had to find and move into a new apartment, then once moved into the promised land, I've had no internet for a month due to issues at the exchange and on top of that it was hectic at work. Thankfully due to some lovely teacher holidays for Easter I've managed to complete a (hopefully!) portfolio ready piece.







I've taken a few liberties with the concept, the main omission being the dome, which I decided to take out early on. To be honest I'm still not sure what to do on this front, I've looked at it for so long now that I'd love some opinions. On one hand, the lack of dome takes away the 'wow' factor as well as the main focal point, however on the other hand I feel without the dome it has a more cohesive feel.

I'm not particularly happy with just settling for wooden pillars as the alternative, at the very least I feel I need to incorporate a more religious artefact or even some particle effects. But for now, I feel I've managed this project well and in particular I'm really happy with my own motivation and timeframe - half of this was done in 2 weeks during February, then the last half in the previous 2 weeks.

I wanted to focus on a series of reusable modular assets; so there are 2 trees, 1 grass texture (3 mesh groups), 3 rocks, 2 wooden planks, a wooden strut - then a roof, stairs and the building frame.

All feedback is most welcome!

Nine15ths

Bumping this up, would really like some feedback!

Mr Smo

hey mate, this is looking pretty cool. but i would really recommend the addition of the bubble around the house, the blue inside it contrasts the rest of the scene and is visualy pleasing.

the trees look a bit too dense with leaves, you need some negative space in there where you can see through the foliage.

the rocks are pretty cool but look randomly placed / directed where as the concept has them sloped like an old ice flow or river etc.

the greenery that you see in the concept starts small at the bottom and grows denser as it gets up to the top of the hill which is something that is missing in your scene, perhaps also having some vegetation on the steps (which also could be wider and more set into the hill). the life that the small flowers give is also something missing.

the house itself looks like the main door could be bigger, as well as the entrance house itself being lower into the ground.

last thing i would mention is the valley floor, some vert painting there to tie in the rocks to it, also show some wind blown sand or foot prints.

i hope this helps, even with out these things it does look cool, but wouldnt take too long to make it even cooler

easterislandnick

You need the dome, the cool thing about the concept is the difference between inside and out of it. At the moment the piece just looks weird. Where is this red rock land? It doesn't look like space!

Mike8917

As the others have already said, I really think you should bring the dome back! It looks so great in the concept and the scene completely loses the alien feel you had initially. The dome is what makes the piece truly stand out and gives it character. It really sold the "martian" feel before, whereas in it's current state it looks like it's in the middle of a rocky desert or something.

Looking great though man - beautiful concept, keep it up!

Shyralon

Definitely do the dome, the concept just doesn't work without it.
And add some more green next to the stairs (as it is in the concept) to really point out this contrast between desert/mars environment and the building (works only with the domne though).
I really like what you have so far, just add the dome and it will be a really nice environment!

Nine15ths

Thanks for the feedback guys, it has been really helpful in refocusing me

A few self crits for this iteration:

Pros:
-Much happier with overall composition
-Lighting is quite pleasing
-Reworked terrain textures are much better

Cons:
-Still not particularly happy with the rocky section on the right, despite it looking better now
-No idea what to do for the entrance to the dome, if even to bother at all - the way the steps suddenly end do add a bit of mystery/'alien-ness' to the scene
-Trees are too dense
-Dome texture is a quick glass modification, not really liking it

Still to do:
-Vines and moss up the inside of the dome
-An entrance of some sort?
-Tweak lighting? Push reds a little more? Lower sun brightness slightly?
-Would love to make the dome into a cross hatched forcefield, however I'm not sure how to go about doing this.

Here are a couple of new images:

Kimon

That dome is such a center piece that I would give it as much polys as needed to not show any edges. Polygons are hardly a problem anymore, so give the dome some more!

Everything else looks lovely so far! Great job!

Shyralon

Looks much better already.
I'd give the dome this frame which is in the concept and make the texture a bit more blueish, so the contrast between the red environment and the dome comes out more.

locater16

When you're inside it's a bit hard to tell you're in a bubble of some sort, and that the sky isn't just that color.