interesting look, i like the size of it
i suggest putting in some more color and some geometry to break up the boxy look of the building, except if that is what you want
for example some support beams or small medieval toilet like buildings,
googled it and found some ref for you of what I'm saying
this piece is coming along really well, thanks for posting your wips. love the mood and the central uplighting of the scene.
personally i think the "glowy window" on the scifi generator thing cheapens the piece a little, it's a bit too overtly videogame in contrast to the fairly believable smaller detailing and grunge throughout, which i like a lot.
in the asian theme, another element you could add could be bamboo scaffolding. doesnt look anything like western construction scaffolding, doesn't obscure as much, and you could really spice up parts of the image flow by adding some of it.
but the more i look at it, one of the reasons i dont like the generator is that it arrests the eye, and then because the composition is so symmetrical, there's nowhere to look afterwards, even though there's plenty of detail in the piece. a composition is a little trip for the eye. we have a point of entry, the eye follows a line, and then exits, or loops back through the piece. right now it's frustrating to look at your piece because despite some really lovely work on lighting and detailing, there's no circulation through the scene. but you've got all the great tools of composition at your disposal--the geometry of the building, lighting, and especially the neon signs.
take those and guide the eye through the path you want the viewer to take.
here's an example paintover:
i think the generator is less interesting than putting a hole in the side of the building that can have some light coming from it and seem a cave-like point of mystery. wrap the ducting and signs to flow toward that point, and then standing at the edge of the "hole" you could have a mysterious little backlit figure, or say a hover vehicle having just exited the hole, flying toward the left side of the frame. there are a lot of possibilities this way.
anyway, hope that gives you some ideas of where you might go to strengthen the composition. your detail work and lighting are really excellent. forward them with a stronger composition, and man you have crazy good portfolio piece. good luck!
Hey man, Thanks a lot for the crit!! In the end i decided to follow something and something not, still a wip and still looking for crit obv.
The problem with the hole in the right side is that i felt that could break the symmetrical balance of the image.
So here what i come up with! C&C are welcome ^^ Thanks!!!
Right now, I feel like there are too many neon light signs around though. Also, I think some dead neon lights may add more variations to the scene. Still, great job overall
Replies
i suggest putting in some more color and some geometry to break up the boxy look of the building, except if that is what you want
for example some support beams or small medieval toilet like buildings,
googled it and found some ref for you of what I'm saying
Update!
Esselle i totally agree! Thank you!!!
Thank you guys!!! Update
personally i think the "glowy window" on the scifi generator thing cheapens the piece a little, it's a bit too overtly videogame in contrast to the fairly believable smaller detailing and grunge throughout, which i like a lot.
me, i just want to see more layers. without having to go full-on kowloon with the look (like this: http://www.flickr.com/photos/22719916@N03/2185705159/ or http://www.flickr.com/photos/48646584@N00/2087079446/ ) some more nesting and overlap on the signs gives it the HK feel, which seems to be what you're going for?
in the asian theme, another element you could add could be bamboo scaffolding. doesnt look anything like western construction scaffolding, doesn't obscure as much, and you could really spice up parts of the image flow by adding some of it.
http://farm1.staticflickr.com/129/390088839_6bd4c29612_o.jpg
but the more i look at it, one of the reasons i dont like the generator is that it arrests the eye, and then because the composition is so symmetrical, there's nowhere to look afterwards, even though there's plenty of detail in the piece. a composition is a little trip for the eye. we have a point of entry, the eye follows a line, and then exits, or loops back through the piece. right now it's frustrating to look at your piece because despite some really lovely work on lighting and detailing, there's no circulation through the scene. but you've got all the great tools of composition at your disposal--the geometry of the building, lighting, and especially the neon signs.
take those and guide the eye through the path you want the viewer to take.
here's an example paintover:
i think the generator is less interesting than putting a hole in the side of the building that can have some light coming from it and seem a cave-like point of mystery. wrap the ducting and signs to flow toward that point, and then standing at the edge of the "hole" you could have a mysterious little backlit figure, or say a hover vehicle having just exited the hole, flying toward the left side of the frame. there are a lot of possibilities this way.
anyway, hope that gives you some ideas of where you might go to strengthen the composition. your detail work and lighting are really excellent. forward them with a stronger composition, and man you have crazy good portfolio piece. good luck!
The problem with the hole in the right side is that i felt that could break the symmetrical balance of the image.
So here what i come up with! C&C are welcome ^^ Thanks!!!
Final! C&C Welcome
Right now, I feel like there are too many neon light signs around though. Also, I think some dead neon lights may add more variations to the scene. Still, great job overall