[UDK]Abandoned Room

riot

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I'm really excited about this because this is the first environment that I actually finish, but screenshots first, text later.











More scerens:
additional screnshot1
additional screenshot2
additional screenshot3

I've been working quite some time on this piece after failing at my first attempt of doing an environment. Anyway, the inspiration for this is a mix between the style of Max Payne 3 and Hitman Absolution, I've tried to go for a cinematic look. Some things like the walls and the roof could be enhanced (maybe some posters, some wires, a light(?)) and some more little decals would also be nice, but I have spent too many time on this for now, I need to move to another thing.
Would love to get some critiques on this, as it is my first finished environment and I know that it isn't awesome by any means.

riot

bump. nobody?

radiancef0rge

the walls are a bit bare, some posters or something wires perhaps a wall light.
the texture treatment is nice.
its a little dark to see everything, perhaps add some more sources of light.
light doesnt look like its coming from the flame, its centric to the window - not sure where the light is coming from tbh.
chromatic is wayy to high in my opinion.

I think with some more bounce youve got a solid environment. looks like its got a bit of deus ex in there too which is nice.

Spikings

If you look at most rooms in any house, they aren't completely square, or four walls only. There can be bumps where fireplaces once were, concave corners that stem from other rooms and ceilings that slope down on some sides.
Here's a quick ref pic for clarification:
http://www.english-heritage.org.uk/content/images/volunteering/room-steward-boscobel.jpg (this one also has beams, which could break up your ceiling and give it some form of composition)
http://www.buryparishchurch.com/Church%20House%204.jpg
http://www.kevs3d.co.uk/renders/HouseRoomRad2.jpg
Even though this isn't much in the way of detail, it can help you plan out your room in a more interesting way.
I second radiancef0rge on the lighting, unless you want the player (if this is for a game) stumbling around in the dark, it's best to light up the room a little with ambience lighting. It would be a shame not to see the detail you've put into other parts of the room.

RogelioD

That Chromatic Aberration you got on there is intense. It's killing my eyes. Just look at the specular highlights on those glass bottles and you can see how crazy intense it is.

Chromatic Aberration is a form of blur- and too much blur will hurt; peoples eyes, and the piece at large.

Otherwise, the walls are barren, the lighting is very dark and doesn't have enough contrast, and I can't really tell what I'm supposed to be looking at in the way of a focal point. There is some story and meaning conveyed through what you have, but I suggest pushing it even farther if you really want to make this piece strong.

DWalker

The candle is very odd - it's not providing much (if any) light, it's placed near, but not at, the greatest source of light in the room, and it's free-standing, without a holder.

Also, candle flames are not monochromatic blobs of light. At the very least, there should be a gradient running from the wick to the center, with another gradient near the edges. A better representation would also show a blue flame near the bottom, where the heat is greatest. Fortunately, the flames tend to be hollow cylinders, so an animated billboard works well at representing one.



The rendered images are very noisy - I can't tell whether this was intentional, but if so I don't think it has the effect you intended.

The fabric on the mattress is odd. If you're going for a bare mattress, then the pattern should appear on the sides as well:


Cheap sheets rarely have patterns on them - they are most often a solid color (white, beige, and light blue being the most common).

The bedframe could use a few more polygons considering its size - is appears to be based on a 10-sided torus, clearly revealing the edges. The same is also true of the chair, but the chair's corners have a smaller radius.

The wallpaper and floor rug could certainly use some weathering.

The TV's placement seems very odd. Even people who don't have a proper TV stand tend to place the TV on something - another folding chair, old moving box, milk crate.

The liquid in the glass is at an odd angle, unless the room is on a ship in the middle of a storm...

riot

Awesome DWalker, you got some really good suggestions there.

Sadly, I can't work more on this piece for now, but when I'll have enough pieces for a portfolio, or when I'll feel motivated, I will definitely change some more things based on your feedback. I will note down your suggestions because they're really good.

Here's the scene in its actual state, I gave it some more color, added a few decals, gave the roof some shape(which needs some more love (and cracks), but as I said before, I will do that when I'll have enough pieces for a portfolio). Crits are still welcome!






Thanks for the help!

riot

well, I decided not to throw away this scene and redo it again, this time in CE3, which is awesome btw.





still wip, there are a lot of things to add, especially decals and posters.. and some dirt :poly121:

riot

Been really busy with my final exams this time, but still managed to do something. Next step is to start building the details, then comes the grunge/decal pass. Still very much WIP

Spikings

Some parts of the room don't feel functional in a way. For example, 99% of all cushy sofas in any living space are pointing towards a TV. While it can be argued that the owner of this house would rather watch TV from his desk chair, we all know that's not a great likelihood. Also a bedside table would be great next to the bed, along with a lamp or candlestick? Like you said in your first post, posters/paintings in frames would also be cool and divide the walls up a little more, but I guess that will all come in the details section. (: Keep it up, some great improvement from your first pic.

alvordr

You've obviously gone a long way to getting this environment to feel like more than just an abandoned room. Someone actually lived there.

However, I would work on getting the couch to look a bit less chunky or blocky. I would also redo the window, as the scratches or cracks don't look quite right and are a bit over done.

There is also a lot of fill light in the room. Having the fill light is a good idea, but it's overpowering in a room that appears to only have 2 small light sources.

If the door is ajar like that, and that much light is coming through the window above it, then this would suggest light should come into the room from the small opening the door provides.

I hope this helps.

Kuki

I think this room needs at least another window or two, maybe with different details like broken frames/glasses etc... Also if you rework the lighting they could serve as extra light source...

riot

Okay, I think that I'm more or less done with the 3D small details pass, next step is to add some paintings and posters on the walls and then some general decals and grunge.

chrisradsby

I just get the feeling like the interior could be decorated better. Sofas are usually facing the TV, people try not to have their bed in the living room etc etc.

aajohnny

It just doesn't feel that abandoned to me honestly. I agree with chrisradsby as well.

s6

I don't really see a problem with the layout of furniture and the like, Cause I've seen weirder rooms. But what is odd to me is the patterns. The wall paper appears squashed and makes the room feel squaty. If you look at the right wall, The pattern appears "correct". But its getting serious perspective distortion. So you know that it should be distorted. In homes/rooms with low roofs you would think there would be a lot of vertical patterns to make it feel taller. And the rug pattern. it appears to be native American or tribal. While the walls appears to be some other culture entirely. Plus the beding, Its plaid. Which doesn't exactly match other things in the room.

Following that mis match suite, You have a what appears to be a prison bed, A Cabin/rural coffee table, A folding table in the corner, And cinder block or maybe a crate holding up that bedside table.

I think your ideas here are great, But it feels like they are from 10 different times and places. Making a confusing environment. Not saying the guy living here had to be an interior designer, and make everything nice and pretty, But he would have had access to the culture and styles in the small piece of the world around him. or he moved into an already established home, Which would still, have a lot more consistency.

The art and execution are good though! And like others have said, Definitely a step up from the prior environment. Like everyone else said, I'd spend a bit more time planing and designing before creating. Keep up the hard work

riot

Still WIP, but really close to finishing this piece. I will add some more details on the roof, like some wires or a light bulb, and maybe some cloth on the sofa and/or ground.

But first I'd like to get some critiques before moving on to the final pass, so I can change it "on time".

Thanks everyone for their critiques so far, they've really helped me a lot.

@chrisradsby, aajohnny: You're right, sofas are usually placed facing TVs, but I added the sofa later in the scene, when I already planned the TV to be facing the bed, and placing it on the right side now would look even wierder imo.. maybe the guy living in this room prefers watching the TV from his bed.

@s620ex1: first, thanks for your great critique, it's awesome! You're definitely right, I felt like something was off, but didnt't know what. I realize now that in this room I've mixed objects from very different cultures and architectural styles. Next time I'll be very careful with that. But fixing it would mean redoing almost everything in the scene, and I've been working far too long on this to redo it again, I'll be more careful next time.

riot

I call this piece finished now, I've spent too much time working on it







Individual asset brekdowns:

trash bag #1

trash bag #2

sofa

And some texture flats:

sofa textures

trashbags textures

wall, ground textures