Space Marine Flamer - Looking for C&C

Poly Knight

Hello everyone!!

My name's Nick and this is my first time putting my work up on here! A little nerve wracking, but more exciting then anything else I think.

I'm a recent grad from a Game Dev/Game art program and I'm actively looking for QA and other entry level positions in the game industry to get my foot in the door, build contacts and a network of like minded individuals. All the while trying hard to level up my art skills so I can eventually work myself into an artist role.

The community of artist's on this site is unreal and I'd really like to become a part of it. So here's my first offering to you!! Its the first gun I've modeled start to finish. I'm happy with whats been done so far, but will be happier when I push it further

Less words, MOAR art...





http://i.imgur.com/hjUIwxf.jpg



Diffuse





I'm looking for C&C on all facets of the piece, right up to lighting and presentation.

I've taken the asset as far as I can without some new eyes and some help. I'm having an issue with the top gold banding on the fuel tank. I'm just not sure whats causing it. My textures for the are clean and don't show any of the nasty. My smoothing groups and Mat Ids in max look ok as well.

Thanks in advance to anyone who takes a look.

PK

refriedspinach

looking pretty sweet so far, i really like how youve added a little bit blues to the end where it gets hot.

my only crit is that maybe the pressure gauges are too clean, expessailly compared to the rest of the gun. maybe throw on some dirt, grimm onto them

as for the presentation part of it. try not to have black in the backround as it seems to hide the detail of the subject. example, the second pic its hard to make out the back portion of the gun.

keep up the great work

praetus

I'm not as familiar with Warhammer so for some of your choices I don't know how much is based off of concept versus personal decisions. that being said;

You have some bad faceting on the gold ring edges of your gas canister. I'm not sure if it is unwelded verts or bad normals or what but there is a peculiar line along the edges. I'm not sure what point of the gauges are on the sides of the gun. They're not in a spot where the shooter would see them.

It is definitely a good start though. I hope to see more of your art and to see you improve. :thumbup:

Rit

Looking pretty nice to far, love the discolouration of the heated metal.

I second the point raised by Refried, I would add some wear+tear onto the gauges.

Putting some wear on the trigger and handle would also make that gun look a bit more "used" and add more character to an already great piece.

Keep it up man!

3eland

Looking great! Ultramarines!

Poly Knight

Wordy Post...

Ok back with an update! Thanks to everyone for the feedback and encouragement, feel like I'm on the right track!

@refriedspinach - Thanks for the kind words and noted about the black clipping into the pic. These are just screen grabs from the UDK viewport, I'll be sure to be a little more careful going forward.

@praetus - I've fixed up the banding issue and got it smoothed out. It was a combo of an unwelded vert and a copy paste issue with the uv island. Thanks for helping to steer me in the right direction!

I'll agree for sure with the design issues you raised, it creeps up every now and then with Warhammer related stuff. I've uploaded the concept I worked from(should have had it in the first post, sorry). I didn't take too many artistic leaps with it, really just around the nozzle area I added a little jazz.

@Rit - Thank you, I'm actually pretty happy with how that metal turned out for a first go at that sort of effect!

@3eland - Thanks!! Funny thing is, I don't even play Space Marines, let alone the Smurfs!

Poly Knight

Piccy Post

So I've addressed some of the issues that were brought up in that round of feedback(thank you to the posters). The only thing I'm really still working on is the grunge, grime and dirt on the glass parts. I've modeled the glass that sits in front of the gauges so I'll be applying the dirt and such to that to hopefully give it a "real feeling". Just playing around with the opacity masks to get it right.

But here's the most recent WIPs, minus the grunge grime on the glass, thats still to come.








And this is the concept I worked from




Thanks again to all that posted!!
Still looking for feedback, the goal is use the gun as a portfolio piece.

PK

Hang10

I didn't read the other comments thoroughly so if I say the same thing, I'm sorry, but here's my take:

It still needs more edge wear like the concept and I feel the fore grip is too flat and square.

If the gun is going to have black as it's base color change the background picture you have it on. I feel the colors are too close to make the asset pop on it's own.

The actual grip to the gun is a more brownish/red(?) color and shows the pattern and silhouette better then the black you're using. Lighten up the color so the pattern is more defined.

my 0.02$

GrimFiction

I think if the background was a solid white it'll be able to show off the prop better. It's because there are a lot of dark colours in the prop which blend into the background. I think the dials need more dirt and grime as well.
Overall I think its really good! Keep it up!