Hey, that interesting, I had the *exact* same issue with mine. I tried different settings, assigning different bend settings to different groups of the dress geo. And the sim times went up drastically to between 7-8 minutes and the results weren't very good, it didn't deform like I would have expected. I reset it all and just used the default settings and then got much better sim times, but not the effect I'd like.
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i paint all 6 influences now and hope, that will work.