The bandage around his middle are ok, you can simple texture those in. Perhaps make it a little smaller, bandages aren't so thick they should almost mimic his bodyshape (unless ofcourse you meant to give it that look because these are a lot of bandages over each other or just really really thick)
If you want those 'skirt' bandages to be like the ones you've drawn than yeah, you'll need to cut out a bit more. otherwise a very good start keep it up
edit: I don't know for sure but you will probably have to keep that big mohawk dazzle has. Valve is quite 'serious' about keeping the characters silhouette. you can probably cut some of the hawks or extend to hair coming out of the bandages to keep that silhouette
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Needs more bandages donnit?
If you want those 'skirt' bandages to be like the ones you've drawn than yeah, you'll need to cut out a bit more. otherwise a very good start keep it up
edit: I don't know for sure but you will probably have to keep that big mohawk dazzle has. Valve is quite 'serious' about keeping the characters silhouette. you can probably cut some of the hawks or extend to hair coming out of the bandages to keep that silhouette