WarTime Bedroom

ladyknowles

Hi Polycount!

Back again with another project. I'm in my final year of uni now and this is my first honours project

I'm following this concept by Jackson Sze:











I think I definitely need to add to the wooden floor texture, as it's just not looking right at the minute! I was going to add a ceiling fan too. Please critique!

biofrost

Right now is that the door looks like it is just placed in front of the wall and not actually attached to it. Im also not sure if the light would be hitting that much of the wall since the lamp you made is more covered up than the one in the concept.

I did a paintover(first time doing that yay!..sorry if its crappy)

Just made it a bit more darker since one lamp in a room won't be that bright.
Hope this helps!

sun_smasher

Interesting concept, and overall not bad.

One thing that I noticed right away is that your textures need to be a bit more normalized to all look like they fit in the same environment. In the concept all the pieces flow together because they have the same overtone in their color, but in the render things stick out a bit. Blending is a huge part of environment making, and a large part of that comes with texture work.

I agree with above poster, that the door just kind of looks slapped on.

The lighting could probably use a bit more color to it as well, IMO.

Keep it up!

Quickel

Could be a cool piece. I like how you show off the wall textures - would like to see more.

I see some big problems with scale. Your bed looks too short and the rungs are looking extra thick. Your door feels giant compared to the bed and the dresser. I'd probably scale the bed and the dresser up more than I would scale the door down. Agree with sun_smasher....the light is too white.

benji

Hey ladyknowles,
It's looking like a good start! I like the concept; it's quite evocative of a certain mood, I feel.

A couple of critiques:
It's hard to pin down, but I'm kinda feeling a lack of unity and cohesion in the look of your assets and textures. Too much photosource can cause this I think, but a fiddle with saturation/value and contrast levels within each texture should balance it out - take the rug and the poster for example; they don't seem to belong in the same scene as the grimy walls and dark floorboards. (EDIT: sunsmasher beat me to it )

Some of your assets seem pretty solid and chunky - which is a valid aesthetic choice, but I feel it's kind of at odds with the concept. Also you may want to to take a look at the plausibility of some of these assets - the shelves for example; you could always break from the concept and find some alternative reference for individual assets.
Is the texture on the ceiling the same as that on the walls? There are some drips visible going horizontally across that look out of place! Don't take my word that this would be the optimal way, but you could vertex blend to a dirtier texture in the corners/crevices of the room.
One last nit-picky thing; the transition between green/white on the wall is a very straight line - just a little variation could give it a more natural feel I think!

Hope that helps!

Madwish

Nice concept, good start.

Apart from the very good critiques already said, I would add :

- Lighting lacks color as said previously, but I also think that shadows are too strong. The ref has almost no black area, everything is smooth. It's more about saturation and perspective drawing the eyes to the focus. Yours feels more "brute force" using extreme white and extreme black. I amplify a lot of course and it may also be that you don't want to follow this part of the concept. But I think it would look better with lesser shadows.

- In the same idea, I think some hand painting touches in your textures could fit nicely, reducing the "photo source" effect some parts have and giving a more coherent feel overall.

- When I look at your piece, I can imagine you placing all the meshes. Good and firm position at a precise angle for main assets, than you go bananas with the books and newspapers to give life. I would use less newspapers and books, they are only props, not main points in the composition. You could also try to give some slight angle to some pieces, like they were moved during daily uses. The poster is really vertical, try giving it a slight angle. The pink rug is pretty much like a perfect plane at a perfect 90 degrees angle. Try slightly breaking this perfect feeling.

Keep it up.

ladyknowles

Thanks so much for all the helpful comments guys!

@sun_smasher I've added more colour to the light, but I'm going to improve this more! I'll go back to my textures once I've finished and try and improve them, thankyou

@Quickel Thanks I love your work I've tried to fix the scale issue but I think it is still a bit off!

@benji Thanks for reminding me about vertex blending I might use this I'll try and improve everything you've pointed out!

@Madwish Thank you I've changed the light colour, do you have any idea about how to go about making your shadows not as dark in UDK? I always have this problem! I'm going to go back through my textures and try to handpaint a lot more!

ladyknowles

Jet_Pilot

The door knob looks too small, the bed frame should have rounded edges not factied. The picture on the dresser is too washed out, and your lighting doesn't look realistic with that lamp type.

Quickel

The scale is looking better. The bed frame is a problem as Jet_Pilot said. It's definitely too bulky and it stands out because it's so shiny. It looks like more of a permanent bed in your shot but the concept looks like it's more of a portable bed like they'd have in camps.

I think the problem with the lighting is that you don't have the fixtures to support your lighting. You do have the desk lamp, but the room would be really dark if that was the only source of light. It looks like in the concept there is the inkling of a ceiling lamp which might help give you another source to have light emit from.

benj666

The door still looks a little too far out from the wall. Also the door doesnt really make sense to me. The handle looks like it is almost in the middle of the door? Its in between the ornate parts of the door.








Got some screen grabs from sniper elite v2, as its in the same wartime setting as yours.

gilesruscoe

Just want to drop by and say that you have improved an awful lot since your posts a few months back, especially with lighting. Theres still a lot of ground to cover though, so keep doing what you're doing, listen to critiques and push on!

ivanzu

Doors are too thick you should re-size them or at least push them back behind the wall.
You should try placing some dust particles so it makes the scene more interesting.

Amadreaus

Please kill that lens flare. Kill it with sticks!

chrisradsby

Right now I'd say that you're shapes are a bit too cartoony if you're going for something realistic. The shelves are too thick and it's the same with the bed support. The door is also extruding a lot from the wall which makes it look a little bit weird. I guess people have already been saying this though.

I also agree with the lensflare, it's a little bit too much for this type of scene, make sure the the lighting matches the lightsource, if the room gets too dark you'd also probably have a window or two inside the room to get fill light from at least.

AlexCatMasterSupreme

The texture of the wood on the draws is too repeating, flip the UV's on every otehr one, so its the same texture, just different direction.

VelvetElvis

The door frame is off, as others have posted. You typically have 2" or so of trim depth before you hit the sill/wall. The door handle is always right near the door edge at roughly 3' on center above ground. If you get the knob location wrong, it throws off your scale quickly as we as humans know pretty much where that knob sits on the door. It's one of those visual queues that we know very well as human beings.

The books are stacked way too unrealistically on the shelf. That's some severe brain damage waiting to happen. No one would ever stack books like that on the far top shelf. Look at how they are stacked in the concept image, that is way more realistic.

The wood flooring has too much of a gap between the boards. You'd trip over the floorboards anytime you want to walk across the room. Look at wood flooring, even old flooring and the boards are very close together. It's almost a pencil line gap, nothing more.

ladyknowles

God guys I really have to apologise for not responding, I thought this thread was dead!

@Jet_Pilot Thanks man I'll try and fix these when I come back to this.

@Quickel I will try work on the lighting

@benj666 I think I'll remake the door with your references Thanks man that's really helpful!

@gilesruscoe That is so good to hear Like seriously you can't understand how nice it is to know improvement is noticable. I will keep working no worries!

@ivanzu Dust particles is a good idea I'll look into it Thank you!

@chrisradsby I'll kill the lensflare (with fire, if needs be). I think I'll remodel the bed into something with more complicated shapes! Thanks Chris

@AlexCatMasterSupreme Will do Thank you

@VelvetElvis Thanks for the crits I have wrote them down and will improve them soon.

Just want to put my next scene out there for the art by paper cut competition. When I finish that I'll come back to this to fix all of these things!