[WIP] Beautiful Flower

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BigSisNatien vertex
Note: For some reason, my account reposted a topic twice, so I'm editing both threads and using them for a different story I wasn't planning to write. Sorry for the spam. 

A WIP thread for a story about Jhin! 

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  • BigSisNatien
    Here's the first draft of "Beautiful Flower"! It wasn't my first when I initially wrote it, but it's the first completed draft. 

    At the beginning, I had the murder plainly written out. However, I felt that not only was it too violent; it didn't reflect what I wanted. I want the story to be seen through Jhin's warped personality. He sees death as beauty, and not for what it really is. So I ended up scratching everything I had written at the beginning and wrote the story to be what Jhin would see.. A masterpiece, and not a torturous death. 

    It is one hundred and ninety five (195) above the word count, but I'm really conflicted on what I should cut out because I feel like a lot of my imagery is crutial to the story. Maybe as time goes by I'll figure out what I can cut out, what I can fix, etc. 

    Note that I'm still unsure if this is too violent or not-- I was extremely nervous to post this because of that uncertainty! 
  • BigSisNatien
    While I'm still nervous about the whole violence thing, here's the second version of Beautiful Flower. It's exactly 1,000 words. I changed a couple of my sentences, played around with the whole premise of the "nonexistent audience," and I cut out repeating words. I am relieved that I was able to find out what to cut out before the entry deadline. 

    As always, comments and critiques are welcome!
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