This is cool! Since it's a stylized piece, take all my critique with a grain of salt since there's no "right" way to do things. Overall I think you need to choose how dreamy things are at each point in the piece and make sure the timing and overall style reflects that. I like the idea of it starting off not dreamy and then…
Hey, just finished updating it! But first thank you so much, your advice is invaluable. I think I have fixed the timing of the areas you mentioned, they indeed seemed out of pace. I've also been adjusting the camera curves to get smoother motion. I don't completely get what you mean about making the flying part more…