I'm not a character artist so I won't comment on the work, but I would recommend having your portfolio on a website with still images and maybe 3d viewers, most people/employers are not going to sit through 3 and a half minutes of slow character turnarounds.
As said from the other I think the main problem is the video's length. You should really try to keep it below one minute with only your best and finished work. Since you are applying as a character artist you should show also the wireframe and the polycount. Showing close up, textures breakdown and good UV layout is surely…