Who told you not to look at tutorials!? Its one of the best ways of learning. There are so many god ones out there, try the polycount wiki, eat 3d, 3d motive, digital tutors etc... Seriously telling you not to look at tutorials is really weird/bad advice! Sorry I cant crit your work, it wont show up for some reason, but…
Can you directly tell me the problems ?? .. I like to learn from my mistakes through trial and error. I've been told not to watch tutorials and etc. That's how I learned what I know now.