For the 3ds users, why don't you use a combinaison of smoothing groups and 2 turbosmooths (the one underneath being used with Smoothing Groups turned on) ?
@KungFuCactus check this out:https://polycount.com/discussion/210556/3d-modelling-help-subdivision-modelling-and-smoothing-artefacts#latest your problem is your meshflow
Found a way to have it deform on a line by using the path deform binding (WSM) modifier inside 3ds max. Thx metalliandy for the screenies and obj file.