Quite good. For awhile when I was working from home, I got harassed quite a bit. Then I started doing this little trick.
Telemarketer calls, introduces themselves.
I say "Oh, hang on just one second." Then I just put the phone down on the floor, while they're still on the line. Pop on my headphones and go back to work. Hang up the phone when I eventually notice the disconnected signal.
Screw them. They waste my time, I'll waste theirs.
But one time it really did tick a guy off. He called back, and I pulled the same trick on him. He then called back cursing, and we went through about 5 rounds of that. He was a real ass, but I took pride in the fact that I wasted at least a third of his work day.
TM: Hi there, are you interested in a lowprice Dish cable service, I'd like to talk about what our service has to offer...
Me: Ohh hi, wait.. is this Mark Levy? (before they even respond say) I'm sorry I have the wrong number.
Hang up.
The beauty is.. they called you, but you make it seam like you called them and got the wrong number. I didnt feel bad or guilty at all. They think something on the phoneline got messed up.
I lol'd, but it seemed setup...
I saw this link on Digg the other day, its the anti-telemarketing counterscript, its pretty funny, i hope to try it out one day http://www.xs4all.nl/%7Eegbg/counterscript.html
[ QUOTE ]
Quite good. For awhile when I was working from home, I got harassed quite a bit. Then I started doing this little trick.
Telemarketer calls, introduces themselves.
I say "Oh, hang on just one second." Then I just put the phone down on the floor, while they're still on the line. Pop on my headphones and go back to work. Hang up the phone when I eventually notice the disconnected signal.
Screw them. They waste my time, I'll waste theirs.
[/ QUOTE ]
I do that, but I don't say hang on. I just set the phone down so not only do they have to go through their whole speech bs, but they end up going "Hello? Hello?" for far too long. It's grand.
Heres my favorite.
"You wouldn't happen to be selling carpet cleaner would you? Do you know of any good industrial solvents that get blood out of carpet? It's ok if it stains it we just want the blood gone. Do you know anyone in the carpet cleaning business that works late at night, doesn't mind getting paid in cash and keeps their mouth shut? How about you have you ever cleaned a lot of blood out of white carpet before? HEY I told you to keep it on the tarp when you start doing that. Jeeze this is going to be a bigger mess than I thought, I gotta go." (crack your knuckles into the phone) and hang up.
Best way to hang up and still be polite is to say something along the lines of "I have no interest in that, but good luck with the next person". After you wish them good luck, they'll HAVE to thank you, after which you can end the conversation. Works every time.
"I'm sorry, I don't have the authority to decide on that but I'll connect you to someone who does." Put phone down next to a radio playing some sord of hold music.
* Wait for them to do their whole spiel (the longer the better), then say "I'm sorry, I wasn't listening, could you repeat that?". Repeat until you can't stand it anymore. I love wasting their time.
* On the same note, ask them to repeat it slower. No wait, a bit slower than that. No - you're talking too fast, slower! etc.
* When called for a survey, tell them you don'y use it, especially funny depending on topic. ie, I was called to participate in a survey about food, and I told them "I don't eat food". They didn't have a comeback for that!
* If I can't think of anything good, or I'm in a bad mood, I just tell them to fuck off and die. Always a crowd pleaser!
i did this for aout a week when i was 19, the only job ive ever gotten drunk at, 40 something lady (from over desk)used to fill all our coffe cups with vodka while the boss wasnt looking, i quit when we were caught and had outr bags searched on the way into work =(. ( idont condone drinking while operating heavy equipment, but phones are fun when enebbrieated(SP))
Replies
Telemarketer calls, introduces themselves.
I say "Oh, hang on just one second." Then I just put the phone down on the floor, while they're still on the line. Pop on my headphones and go back to work. Hang up the phone when I eventually notice the disconnected signal.
Screw them. They waste my time, I'll waste theirs.
But one time it really did tick a guy off. He called back, and I pulled the same trick on him. He then called back cursing, and we went through about 5 rounds of that. He was a real ass, but I took pride in the fact that I wasted at least a third of his work day.
TM: Hi there, are you interested in a lowprice Dish cable service, I'd like to talk about what our service has to offer...
Me: Ohh hi, wait.. is this Mark Levy? (before they even respond say) I'm sorry I have the wrong number.
Hang up.
The beauty is.. they called you, but you make it seam like you called them and got the wrong number. I didnt feel bad or guilty at all. They think something on the phoneline got messed up.
No time wasted.
"Hello?"
"blah blah blah..."
*click*
done.
I saw this link on Digg the other day, its the anti-telemarketing counterscript, its pretty funny, i hope to try it out one day
http://www.xs4all.nl/%7Eegbg/counterscript.html
Quite good. For awhile when I was working from home, I got harassed quite a bit. Then I started doing this little trick.
Telemarketer calls, introduces themselves.
I say "Oh, hang on just one second." Then I just put the phone down on the floor, while they're still on the line. Pop on my headphones and go back to work. Hang up the phone when I eventually notice the disconnected signal.
Screw them. They waste my time, I'll waste theirs.
[/ QUOTE ]
I do that, but I don't say hang on. I just set the phone down so not only do they have to go through their whole speech bs, but they end up going "Hello? Hello?" for far too long. It's grand.
"You wouldn't happen to be selling carpet cleaner would you? Do you know of any good industrial solvents that get blood out of carpet? It's ok if it stains it we just want the blood gone. Do you know anyone in the carpet cleaning business that works late at night, doesn't mind getting paid in cash and keeps their mouth shut? How about you have you ever cleaned a lot of blood out of white carpet before? HEY I told you to keep it on the tarp when you start doing that. Jeeze this is going to be a bigger mess than I thought, I gotta go." (crack your knuckles into the phone) and hang up.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KJh0pDMnL8M
* Wait for them to do their whole spiel (the longer the better), then say "I'm sorry, I wasn't listening, could you repeat that?". Repeat until you can't stand it anymore. I love wasting their time.
* On the same note, ask them to repeat it slower. No wait, a bit slower than that. No - you're talking too fast, slower! etc.
* When called for a survey, tell them you don'y use it, especially funny depending on topic. ie, I was called to participate in a survey about food, and I told them "I don't eat food". They didn't have a comeback for that!
* If I can't think of anything good, or I'm in a bad mood, I just tell them to fuck off and die. Always a crowd pleaser!
Parents used to have a coaches whistle next to the phone. Poor people probably would go death (and sue) these days.