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Spammer with a degree in creative writing.

polycounter lvl 18
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Josh_Singh polycounter lvl 18
Man these guys are getting creative!!, I usually Hate these things but I was so enthralled with Capt.Craig Wieslaw's tale, that I just might give him my bank account number.

[ QUOTE ]
Dear Friend,

I am Captain Craig Wieslaw of the US Marine Force on Monitoring and Peace –keeping mission in Baghdad-Iraq.

On the 10th day of August 2006, we were alerted on the sudden presence of some Terrorists camping in a suburb not too far from Karbala here in Iraq. After Immediate intervention, we captured three (3) of the Terrorists, twenty-six (26) were killed leaving seven (7) injured.

In the process of torture they confessed being rebels for late Ayman al-Zawahiri and took us to a cave in Karbala which served as their camp. Here we recovered several guns, bombs and other Ammunitions including some boxes among which two contains nuclear weapons, one filled with hard drugs(cocaine) and the other four to my amazement contain some US Dollars amounting to $15M after I and two of my junior intelligent officers counted them. I however instructed them to keep this in high secrecy.

I am in keen need of a "Reliable and Trustworthy" person like you who would receive, secure and protect these boxes containing the US Dollars for me up on till my assignment elapses in here in Iraq. I assure and promise to give you 20% of this fund, however feel free to negotiate what you wish to have as your percentage in this business..

Please assure me of your keeping this topmost secret to protect my job with the US Monitoring and Peace-Keeping mission.

Sincere regards,

Capt.Craig Wieslaw.



[/ QUOTE ]

This would actually be a fun job to just sit around and come up with stories all day.

Here's one of mine:

To: Agent X
Agent X, this is Johnny Matrix, your old battle buddy from delta force training camp.
I'm writing to let you know good buddy that, my last mission went bad. The target eluded us and I took a bullet to the gut. Im texting you this message from a fox hole somwhere in Khazakistan...I think , God I dont even know anymore, it's all just sand and desert. Kind of like the Life of an agent huh X? Where Just grains of sand being blown from one objective to another.
Im writinig to let you know you were my prodigy and the closest thing I ever had to a son.
I have left you a some of money totaling 2millon U.S. in a safe deposit box in Switzerland.
I have a man by the name of Josh Singh who is in charge of my affairs, contact him immediately that you have my message, he will ask you for a password, The password is "Nagahide Piccolo".
Contact my man Josh Singh at joshsingh at joshsingh.net
and give him your account number and the funds will be depostited to your account.

I feel the life draining from me X.... Im so cold, Im getting dizzy,.... I.. hOPe i SeND.... tHis..to...Teh RIgHt........eMaIL AddresS.....

Replies

  • PeterK
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    PeterK greentooth
    My last mark wasn’t who they said he was. I’ve been trying to outrun the mob for three months now, and I don’t know how much longer I can do this. I’ve saved about 8 million dollars over these last few years, and I need to find someone who can keep it safe until I find a way into the United States. I never wanted to do this for a living, but you’re left with few choices growing up in the darker parts of the old world. If I don’t make it, please contact Frosty; give him your account number and the funds will be deposited to your account. Frosty’s been around forever, and he’ll take good care of things. You can keep 20% if you help me out. Just hurry , I’m almost finished.
  • Josh_Singh
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    Josh_Singh polycounter lvl 18
    How DO I GET TO FROSTY!!!! DON'T YOU DIE ON ME!!!
    before getting me my cut of 20% of 8 trillion dollars that is smile.gif
  • Mongrelman
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    Mongrelman polycounter lvl 18
    To my secret admirer,

    My name is Guy Koma, I was originally a taxi driver, but through political manipulation and comedic timing I became a short-lived television personality. During this time I managed to earn a great deal of money selling nude photos of myself and my pets to various tabloids and medical journals.
    However, now the tax office has been after me to pay them their cut. They know I have earned a lot of money, but they don't know how much. I am looking for someone to hold 3.762 million pounds whilst I am audited. Afterwards you return the money and I let you keep 17.5%.
    All I ask for are your bank details, social security/national insurance number, home address and cholesterol levels.

    Please Obi Wan Kenobi, you're my only hope!

    Love,

    Guy
  • [MILES]
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    [MILES] polycounter lvl 17
    To any prospective suiters,

    I am Jonah, father of seven, among which I have four lovely and one not-so-lovely girls. My wife and I...uh we have recently made difficult decision to wed our girls off to say...decent men. We ask small price of seventeen goats and two dozen geese per union. Please ship livestock prior to meeting. All transaction final but open to negotiation. I provide handsome dowry of 200,000 zloty and John Deer tractor.

    Your Papa?

    -Jonah
  • Thegodzero
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    Thegodzero polycounter lvl 18
    I just got this one!

    Good day I am Olivier Kone From Abidjan Cote d'ivoire, I wish to request for your urgent assistance in my investment plans in your base,I wish to invest in manufacturing and real estate management in your base,this is because I inheritated an important sum from my late father who died in recent political crisis in Cote d'Ivoire here.
    Before the death of my father he informed me near his hospital bed at chu- teaching hospital, that he has saved the total sum of ($4.500,000) Four Million Five houndred thousand united states dollars only, in one of the bank here in cote d Ivoire.
    This money was been deposited for my social security and for fruitful international investment.That is why I need you to keep this transaction highly confidential and trustworthy person who will assist me to receive this fund overseas for investment establishment purposeindurities and lucratives profitable ventures.

    Further directives and details about the deposit and on how to move the fund successfully into your private bank account in your country will be given to you as soon as I get your response,

    Yours Faithfully.
    Olivier Kone
  • Josh_Singh
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    Josh_Singh polycounter lvl 18
    Dude help him out! an chance like this doesn't happen everyday!
  • Thegodzero
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    Thegodzero polycounter lvl 18
    Nope only once every 10 or so days for me. I wish i wouldnt have deleted the last one, it was clasic.
  • Ryno
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    Ryno polycounter lvl 18
    I apologize for this unexpected request, but from seeing things that you have written online, you seem like a fair and honest person. My name is Prince Kenjada Myatnama, and I am second in line for the throne of Bangladesh. I write this request to you under extreme duress, as a rogue faction of our army is attempting to stage a military coup. It appears that at least one of my brothers has been killed, and I am in fear for the rest of my family, and our country as a whole.

    This latter point is the reason that I have written you. If these military scoundrels do manage to take over our country, all will be destroyed. They are staging this coup not for the betterment of our nation, but only for their own greed and enrichment. If they are successful, our country will be ruined financially as they embezzle our nation’s wealth. This is money that is meant for the betterment of our nation, and the welfare of our country’s poor, yet these shameful soldiers would steal it for their own selfish uses.

    I have already tried to protect our country’s reserves by channeling as much of it as I could through secure banking channels. Unfortunately, due to ridiculous stipulations of the IMF, there are limitations on how much can be wire transferred to these international banks. Now, we of Bangladesh are in dire straights, as a large portion of our reserves is stranded here locally, as the wolves are circling.

    I only hope that you, and a few other trusted acquaintances can aid us by harboring some of our country’s money for a few months until this trouble passes. I am authorized to transfer $43,000,000 to your account for temporary holding. Please send us your account number so that we can begin the transmission. Of course for the trouble, and for overseeing the funds we are happy to reimburse you for the trouble. We offer $1.6 million for the transaction, and an additional $270,000 per month that the funds must be stored in your account. I pray that we won’t have to inconvenience you for long, but if the unthinkable should happen, and these rogues should succeed…

    Do with the money what you will, as our nation’s people will never see it anyway.

    Sincerely,
    Prince Kenjada Myatnama
    Order of the Crown, Republic of Bangladesh
  • Mongrelman
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    Mongrelman polycounter lvl 18
    Maybe we should reply and get some dialogue going smile.gif
  • Ryno
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    Ryno polycounter lvl 18
    Mine was an original, just for fun. If it wasn't so damn illegal and immoral, writing stuff like this would be a entertaining hobby. It's fun tricking stupid people, but it's not cool to steal their money.
  • Josh_Singh
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    Josh_Singh polycounter lvl 18
    That's original? Damn! good job could have fooled me into thinking it was a real fake.
  • Ryno
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    Ryno polycounter lvl 18
    Yup, just off the top of my head. But I have written a few technical books, so just stringing together a little prose is pretty easy.

    Damn, maybe I could even do a seminar...

    Ryno's rules of spam fraud:

    1. Elicit sympathy in the reader. Make them feel bad for you, and get them on your side.

    2. Let them think that they are doing a good deed. They are helping you.

    3. Play to their greed.

    4. Introduce an unfamiliar yet believable locale, character, and scenerio. A bit exotic is good.

    5. Get their damn bank account number!
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