Family and the Life of a Game Artist

oXYnary · Mar 2005

Is being a family person, and a game artist incompatible in the long run? I mean in the moving part from position to position. It would require your spouse trying to reseek new work every time you moved, or stay while you worked halfway across the nation. Thus weeks without seeing one another. Not to mention the hours you would spend away normally in crunch.

I know a few here that are family people. One is freelance. So guess that makes it easier. So is freelancing the best option? Or if you aren't a art director (ie more stability/less likely layed off) by the time you have a family, then you are potentially stressing out the bounds of being a family?

I ask in part because a friend who has a family is going for an interview for a 1 year contract for a LD position (his first position btw). But to do so he has to move his entire family to the position. Again though, it's only a 1 year contract. At the end of that year, he will have to up and move again if the company doesn't recontract him or he hates the position by then.

que?

Slayerjerman · Mar 2005

I vote incompatible. Picking up and moving yourself alone is easy enough to do. But relocating your wife and kids isn't as easy.

1) Wife has to find new job (maybe the wife likes her current job and does not want to move anyway) This will definitely form a rift in the relationship.

2) Kids have to readjust and re-enroll in school. The kids will have to make new friends, live in a new city, maybe even have to adjust to the new attitude of the city (liek moving from idaho to san fransico, that'd be a pretty signifgant culture shock i'd think).

3) Living arrangements...most families own a home these days, so that would also mean giving that up too and possibly moving into an apartment or renting another home. Again, easy to do if you are alone, but when you need a place large enough for 2 adults, kids and what ever pets you may own...that could get spendy and difficult.

Overall I think its a bad idea, espeically since its only a 'temp' contract and not a permaneate deal. But if the money is *THAT* good, i suppose it could be feasible.

Daz · Mar 2005

What makes being a videogame artist any different from any other highly specialized career in this vast country? People have to move for their careers unfortunately. Yes of course, the more tied down you get with mortgages and kids, then the more of an upheaval it is to relocate. So when you get to that stage in your personal life, I think that yes, you should probably be looking for something stable.

In your friends instance, it doesn't sound like too wise a move to me. But to answer your initial question, no. I don't believe that making this career choice has to be incompatible with a family life. It's up to you what descisions you make, and how hard you work, and where you live. I also think it's about time we questioned this misnoma of videogame work being highly unstable. I don't really think that's the case anymore. And besides, most games studios are concentrated around the same area. So If you get laid off there are other places to consider within commuting distance before having to resort to moving a thousand miles away.
I could be talking out of my arse, since I don't have a family, but I want one someday, so it would depress me to think that I'd chosen a career path that was totally incompatible with that notion. In any case, I just don't believe that to be true. I have many friends at work with kids. Were not in the army here. I'm sure Ror has thoughts on this. He seems to be about the most nomadic family bloke I know of

Malekyth · Mar 2005

Daz: For some people, like you, game development seems stable. You've been there for a long time, right? I've worked for four companies in three cities, in five years: the first two no longer exist, and the third was gobbled up by our parent company ... and my career feels relatively stable, compared to most. I feel that if I'd been married to any woman I'd want to be married to when I started at Ion, I probably wouldn't have been by the time I got to Epic. She would've gotten fed up by the third move and told me to find another career or fuck myself.

Daz · Mar 2005

True Mal, it's always been stable for me, and that's probably been luck and circumstance. I'd like to point out though that I did move 5,000 miles across the atlantic to be here, and in doing so ended a seven year relationship. That was rough, and something I'll always wonder about wether or not I did the right thing.
Anyway, perhaps with hindsight and a different perspective you're right. The industry is still a pretty unstable animal.

JonMurphy · Mar 2005

The best you can do is with every decision, balance out everything. I moved to Bristol a year ago for work, and now the job is gone. But, while I'm here, I met a great girl.

Now, I may have the opportunity to move to the south east to work for a large company with plenty of money behind it... I think it's name has two vowels. It has meant many a long night talking to my girlfriend about the possibility of moving. I'm fed up with it. I've worked in Sheffield, Derby, and now Bristol in the space of five years. At the moment, I'm thinking the south east is good, due to the concentration of studios in Surrey and London, which would just mean a change in commuter routes, as opposed to upping sticks entirely. I imagine the situation is a little more difficult in the US, owing to the fact the country is so damn huge, but there are pockets, as Daz mentions.

Daz · Mar 2005

I've just realised the VISCIOUS irony of me exclaiming that I painfully ended a seven year relastionship in the pursuit of my career as a videogame artist whilst simultaneously proclaiming that as a career choice it doesn't interfere with personal life

EDIT: thats rough Jon. Good luck with what you decide. DON'T SELL YOUR SOUL TO THE DEVIL muhahahah! ( seriously though mail me If you need info. I worked there for several years )

Mark Dygert · Mar 2005

BAAH its more work but really if your not up for it don't do it. Alot of jobs cause people to relocate every few years. When I was growing up we moved around alot following my dad as he was sent on 1-5 year assignments. Really as a kid(and most kids don't take it this way) I loved it. I got to see a lot of interesting places, when other kids where excited to to see the next street over.

I guess it depends on what kind of person you and the rest of your family is. If people don't handle change well and there will be much crying and mourning when and if you move its not worth it. But if your family is like mine was, we knew it was coming and looked forward to new stuff. It does have its draw backs, about every 2-5 years I get the itch to move =P Something my wife is not too keen on... Moving just to move upsets her a bit. Moving for a new job she is fine with, since her line of work(Front office staff and medical records) is just about everywhere you can live. We can go just about anywhere and she can find a job. I think my moveitice is starting to rub off on her a few times (in joking) she has asked when we are going to move out of state. Normally she jokes like that after she gets off the phone with family, who happen to live a little to close, and be alittle to unstable and keep threatening to move in with us.

Ryno · Mar 2005

I think that if you're in a location where there are numerous companies to work for, you'll be in a better spot. Personally, I will never work for some company that's in an out of the way area, just for the fact that I know that it'll mean another move as soon as that job ends.

When I was getting out of school, I looked for the hubs of the industry, here in the US. My take was that there were four major areas where there are numerous companies to work from. They were L.A. area, SF Bay area, Seattle, and Texas. I chose Seattle, and moved there with my now wife, who was on business travel.

Since moving here, I've worked for 5 different companies. Had several of them implode, and Microsoft made major cutbacks to the games group, which was the reason for my most recent layoff. Only one of my bouts of unemployment was really long, and it lasted about 7 months. Although I was doing some part-time freelance work, this did take a toll on my relationship. Luckily, I am quite a bit more experienced now, and this hasn't happened for several years.

The last time that I was layed off was almost exactly one year ago. I was unemployed for one day. I attribute this to the fact that I'm a pretty good artist, get along well with others, and that there are quite a few options of companies to work for, here in the Seattle area. If I had been living in some area where I'd been laid off from the only game company in town, it could have been much more difficult.

My wife is a bit conservative in some regards, and it took her some time to get used to the way things happen in our industry. When I was just getting started, she had a very hard time with me going through bouts of unemployment. But as I got more experienced, it got easier to get jobs. Now she understands that I might not be at a company for 20 years, and have a pension plan, but that I will be able to find a job if need be. She's actually getting to appreciate this rollercoaster a bit, especially now that I'm making decent money.

My wife and I also own a house, and this is a bit of a concern, but we planned for the fact that I work in an unstable industry, so we made sure that we could afford the mortgage on one salary. We haven't had any real problems with owning the home, and have been in the house for five years now.

So, no, I don't think it's impossible to have a family or normal relationships if you work in the game industry. You just have to be ready for the possiblity of change, and should take steps to ensure that these changes will not affect your relationships in a negative way.

Scott Ruggels · Mar 2005

Incompatible.

Scott

RageUnleashed · Mar 2005

You have to have an incredible partner to stick with you. It's hard enough on some women that a game artist will work 50+ hours a week during crunch time, let alone uprooting and moving a few thousand miles.

Just working hard on getting my skills up to par during college and doing internships has "cost" me one girlfriend. So her understanding and acceptance of what you must do to follow your dream career is vital to any relationship you plan to have.

TNSLB · Mar 2005

I think it can be fine on the wife, speaking as a wife of a games artist. When we got married, even before, I had my eyes open about the industry. I went into this knowing that unless we settled somewhere like Dallas, we'd be potentially moving every year or two. I do think it's getting more and more stable though.

I think if you communicate with your partner and they understand the POTENTIAL for upheaval, then you're ahead of the game (haha, geddit?!). And again, I agree that this is pretty much the norm these days in a LOAD of industries. Heck, my former supervisor moved to this tiny podunkville (Champaign, IL) from virginia beach in october. He got fired last week. Good luck finding a comparable job here, mister!

Prs-Phil · Mar 2005

hmmmm havent been doing it to long and I do think that you can get the balance allthough I personally would need to find a women that wants no children and would be willing to move with me anywhere (quite demanding

) but at the moment I wouldnt even try.

I´m working to fulltime gameartjobs at the moment.

1 Employed fulltime
1 Freelance fulltime
Sleep
[insert possible relationship here] --- ERROR

All for the trackrecord baby but its only until mid of july anyway so I should stop wining and start looking out for girls when the summer starts ... hmmmm bikinis

doc rob · Mar 2005

I defintitely think it can work - you just have to be willing to make comprimises. If my current employer went under and I couldn't find good work locally, I'd try contract work for a while (compromise 1). If that didn't work out, my wife would be willing to move, but we'd both want to find me a job that had a long term future and work-life banlance. That job might not be the same one that has the coolest games or pays the most (compromise 2). It's really not all that different from any decision you make in a relationship that's going to affect both people.

I'm fairly confident that I can have a satisfying career in the game industry even with those compromises.

Daz · Mar 2005

I see a trend in this thred. People in succesful relationships tied to the industry are saying it can work. Single people are saying that it can't. I think the answer is in there

Prs-Phil · Mar 2005

duality

or I guess you just have to be lucky that everything fits together.

Josh_Singh · Mar 2005

[ QUOTE ]
I see a trend in this thred. People in succesful relationships tied to the industry are saying it can work. Single people are saying that it can't. I think the answer is in there

[/ QUOTE ]

Hahah I noticed the same thing. I know my wife would follow me to the Izle of Man if I asked her to. I have two kids and a beautifull wife. She is so proud of me that Im in the industry, and supports me 100%. Life is an adventure, If your girl really loves you she will be eager to share in it.

Mark Dygert · Mar 2005

[ QUOTE ]

Hahah I noticed the same thing. I know my wife would follow me to the Izle of Man if I asked her to. I have two kids and a beautifull wife. She is so proud of me that Im in the industry, and supports me 100%. Life is an adventure, If your girl really loves you she will be eager to share in it.

[/ QUOTE ]

When I showed my wife the article she about died laughing. "you want me to move there!?" that was before we found out the picture was the "calf of man". After I did some research and gave her some straight facts on the island she isn't agaist moving there IF a job offer comes from there. HOWEVER she poop'ed all over my idea to sell everything we own, sweet talk millionaires into lending us money we could never pay back, and start my own studio. I guess there are limits to what a good woman will do for ya, or maybe she just has a good head on her

Kevin Johnstone · Mar 2005

April 4th '98 I relocated from Stranraer/Scotland to Newcastle/England (moved inbetwen 3 apartments and 1 house)
April 12th '99 I relocated to Mechelen/ Belgium and got married. ( stayed in 1 house)
April '00 I relocated to Munich/Germany ( Stayed in 2 apartments while still owned house in Belgium)
April '01 I relocated to Stranraer,Ayr,Kilmarnock/Scotland (stayed in 2 houses, 1 apartment, my wife gave birth to my daughter on March 26th)
May '03 I relocated to Woking/ England (stayed in 1 house)
Feb '04 I relocated to Cary/America ( I've lived in 1 apartment for 4months and the rest of the time in a house I have bought)

So yes, it is possible, but I have went through an incredibly hard uphill battle to keep us all together and I have not met many other couples that have the strength of conviction necessary to do the same as I have.

I think though, adversity comes in other forms than simple job difficulties and relocation and many couples don't survive that, let alone families and this is more down to the fact that people often get together thinking it will make their lives easier.

Likewise, I've heard couples who are in dire straits emotionally, considering having a kid because of the notion that it will strengthen their relationship, which is as far from the truth as possible, the parents in the audience will understand what I mean.

My opinion basically is that marriage, kids, responsibility in general takes strength , being alone doesn't. If someone has the strength to handle the kind of commitment that family takes, the odds are better than they are going to have the strength required to be a reliable worker and also handle the stress of relocations more.

I think this logic is why many intelligent bosses and industries have always looked upon family men as a more stable and reliable workforce. This is not to say that single people are unstable and unreliable, but the ability to juggle family and professional duties speaks well of a persons reliability whereas most of the planet regards people outside of a relationship as people who have not settled down yet.

That said, I wouldnt wish my career path up until this point on anyone. It's been worth the struggle though as we're all happy and I'm at a good stable company that is as future proof as you get in this industry and its mostly been myself thats taken on the strain to get us here so I don't need to feel too much guilt.

Still, I have to consider that my daughter had visited 4 and lived in 2 countries before she was one and that is not ideal. Who is to say that it has not broadened her horizons in a way she can't comprehend yet though ?

Ryno · Mar 2005

[ QUOTE ]
This is not to say that single people are unstable

[/ QUOTE ]

Yes, but many unstable people are single. And for a good reason!

Malekyth · Mar 2005

[ QUOTE ]
I think this logic is why many intelligent bosses and industries have always looked upon family men as a more stable and reliable workforce.

[/ QUOTE ]

Sure, family men are more reliable from the company's point of view, but I don't think an implication of strength has anything to do with it. Maybe they just understand that a married man has too much to lose to casually assert himself against the company. His reactions to the treatment he receives must be checked against possible repercutions against the people who depend on him. It's grim, but a married man is bound to his paycheck because he is also shackled by his family, and that is virtually always to the company's benefit.

Bronco · Mar 2005

I do agree communication is the key here,i would like to be very open with my better half and Id really bang home the point to her that if she sticks with me she can expect to have to change jobs and move every few years...if she doesn't like that then she isn't the girl for me.

john

Daz · Mar 2005

Wait a minute! When did this thread turn into 'bash the sad single folks?!'

Ive had several long term commited relationships, I just haven't found the right gal. That's not a refection on my strength of character. It's just the luck of the draw! Well, that and the fact that I don't get out much these days!

Bronco · Mar 2005

Daz man my respect has shot up for you there dude.I mean the decision to leave a relationship of 7 years to follow your dream job must have been so damn hard.As i see myself now I don't belive I could do that...

But on the other hand its a no win situation,do you stick with the possible love of your life and regret not taking taht dream job? or do you take the dream job but loose the love of your life?...I guess its easyier to take the dream job becuase you think "theres plenty of other fish in the sea".....

Come back to England im sure theres plenty of ladies here who can't date james Bond,but would love to date his officail CG artist!!.

john

flaagan · Mar 2005

A good friend of mine in college grew up moving around quite a bit, seeing as both his parents were in the military. Now, at college age, he's been living in the same area for the past few years. He talked in depth about growing up and moving around in one of our classes. I haven't asked him what he thinks of the idea of moving about for being in the game industry, but he seems well-adjusted even though he grew up not knowing when or where he'd be living next.

Kevin Johnstone · Mar 2005

Malekyth: Sure, you could even rationalise it a darker way and say that if a guy is married, hes already used to being under 1 ruler's thumb and should be easier to hobble.

I don't see it that way either though!

Likewise, many people get together out of weakness and fear of being alone.

So we can go round and round, certainly your points about a married man balancing his comments in the workplace in relation to his fear that his big mouth might hurt the ones he loves is true, you know that for a fact about me!

But it takes a lot more strength to compromise than to just please yourself, right across the board so I'm going to have to stick to my guns there as the ability to compromise is one of the main qualities that define an adult from a child. Marriage is a constant compromise, children are the ultimate compromise, if you don't have kids, you can't really do anything other than guess what I'm talking about and thats not too helpful.

Daz: heh, I'm not bashing the single folks, I put my disclaimers in there like a nice guy!

JDinges · Mar 2005

Well I'm doing quite well. My wife, son and I are living comfortably and we have another baby due in sept. Though it's definetly been a concern of ours that this industry is not known for being very stable and family friendly. You just do what you got to do to survive sometimes.

I guess I was pretty lucky to find stable fulltime freelance work. If only I didn't have elmo and teletubies constantly playing in the background, so hard to concentrate some times! Not to mention the random attacks from my son. But I wouldn't trade it for the world

But like some have mentioned when it comes to your significant other, it's all about the "till death do us part". And always keep all your options in mind, just because you have to take a graphic design job this year doesn't mean you won't be in the industry next year

Prs-Phil · Mar 2005

I think we are quite lucky. I mean, we are talking about how to balance 2 things we like. We all like what we do (I hope) and some of us are even lucky enough to call themselves happiely married with children (though at the moment I personally am to young for that).

Others hate their job, get married because they "have" to (tradition, child on the way etc.), are unable to even start a relationship ... to bring it to a point ... really bad off.

I don´t think I need to add more.

Gn8, I´m going home

Steve Schulze · Mar 2005

To paraphrase Mr Burns:
Friends, Family, Religion. These are the three demons you must slay in order to survive in this business.

A joke, but I'm sure there is a degree of truth there.

adam · Mar 2005

Luckily for myself I'm still young (21) and am with a girl who is also fairly young (24). She has a job that she can pretty much do anywhere (support worker for people with dissabilities AND she's an event co-ordinator). We've talked about it and she's fine with moving (and is actually looking forward to something like this happening).

I believe its compatible - so long as there's a plan.

Josh_Singh · Mar 2005

Ror, I agree with you 100%. The abilty to pick your battles, and compromise the small stuff Is a major trait of maturity. My wife has stood by me when we were way young and way poor ( now where a little older, and a litte richer) But dont ever understimate the love of a good woman.
And it's true, when you have a family a guy is more likely to keep his mouth shut, come to work on time and work hard. I know I try to be the best I can. Not for my boss, but for me and my family. Im constantly trying to be at the top of my game ( I have a long way I know

) But I feel so blessed I can do what I love and still put dinner on the table.
Daz, I dont know your situation with your girl of seven years, But to tell you my honest to god feelings, a true indicator of Love is letting Your loved one follow their dreams. If she wasn't prepared to do that, well...

But I got a cute sister you could date! hahah.

Slayerjerman · Mar 2005

I've been married for a little over 2 years now (been together 5+)...so dont go bashing all the single people.

oXYnary · Mar 2005

Hmm, well if its any defense for the singles. A married artist would want/need more financially to survive. Additionally less willing to work those extra hours since they actually have a life.

Thus not an asset in that regard to the employer.

Daz · Mar 2005

It's of note though that its highly illegal to discuss within a co. a potential employees marital status.

Some people put way too much personal info on their resumes though. We were looking at a guys reel the other day, and it said 'happily married with 5 kids' to which someone mentioned something a long the lines of 'damn, he's gonna be expensive then'. That was when it was deemed that the person that just said that, broke the law!

Sage · Mar 2005

Daz I sort of have done the opposite of what you did. I have been with my girlfriend for over six years now and decided to put my career on hold and wait until a local game company decides I'm good enough and hires me instead of running all over the country to where the jobs are and lose my relationship with her. Either way you look at it it sucks to pick one over the other. I don't think the game industry is incompatible with relationships it just makes having them really difficult.

Alex

lkraan · Mar 2005

I think that your flexibility for relocation also depends on how ambitious your partner is and if she (he?) works in a specialised field.
I have rejected work because it was in a place where my wife woulnd't be able to do the work she wants and needs. If your partner is for instance a nurse of a teacher then finding a job again is much easier.

joolz8000 · Mar 2005

Various companies will have their various reasons for prefering married or single people. Whatever. For me it comes down to flexibility and sacrifice. You make trade offs. My wife loves her job here and has no interest in moving, thus I don't pursue (full-time in-house) jobs that aren't close. Bummer for me, but I choose family first. Luckily there's plenty of good stuff to pick from here in Seattle, but just the same I've worked on plenty of less-than-desireable projects. Now if I insisted on galavanting around the globe in pursuit of the perfect job, no, it wouldn't be compatible with having a family. At least, not THIS family.

Badge · Mar 2005

see if you have a wife like my friends fiance, or my exgirlfriend, whom is in the hospital biz, it really wouldnt be too much of an issue job wise.

but dont have any kids, it fucks them up bad when they move every god damn year.

Eric Chadwick · Mar 2005

It's working great for me, got a wife and three kids. But then again I've been really lucky in my choice of employers. And now I have a lot of titles under my belt, which makes changing jobs not so difficult.

I did move to the other side of the U.S. to change jobs in 2001, big decision. She agreed with the benefits of the move, and kids were really young, so it was easier than if they were school-age.

Kids do complicate things a little, but they enrich life beyond belief. Hits you deep in your genetic core. Ror has it right there about how it isn't obvious until you have one.

Ruz · Mar 2005

The thing is , there are loads of other different careers that require people to relocate and that must place the same kind fo pressure on a marriage as does a the games industry.
Personally me and the missus enjoy moving around. Luckiy she is an illustrator , so she understands where I am cxoming from on a lot of things. ( we are both 36 BTW)
I make time for her on an evening and we do stuff together on weekends.
Luckily we don't do a lot of overtime at my current company
so never seeing her is not much of an issue.
To be fair though I could n't see me sacrificing her for a career.
Anyhting I choose has to benefit us both or I don't bother.

Family and the Life of a Game Artist

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