uh oh, all soft and mushy

PaK · Mar 2005

Hung out with my seattle friends for the first time in a while tonight. Everyone seems to be growing up emotionally pretty fast. The only reason I thonk I realise it is because I'm not cutting it in this area.

It's kinda like...hmmm?

If you learn fench and study it and try speaking it in say: Casablanca, and then move to Quebec you might feel out of place, and may feel like you've never really understood french at all.

Similarly, I'm probably at a wednesday with spiritual growth, a thursday intelectually, but still wiping the crust outta my eyes on monday morning emotionally.

It's kind of a sobering rekaization and I really don't like the hard road ahead. By no means do I fel immature for my age...but all my friends just 'get' things and I'm playing catch-up. They are my closest friends in the world and I feel like I'm totally missing out cuz I haven't bothered to develope siginifcant bonds with others save maybe...Kleinluka when I was in Montreal. The sad part about this is, the excuse I use is "I already have tons of friends" but the truth is I'm not sure I'm capable of making new friends as easily as I could anymore. Tonight i think I've gotten a lil' closer to understanding why and its an uncomfortable realization.

I have no idea what to do.

-R

oXYnary · Mar 2005

It doesnt matter how many or how little friends you have. The important part is to be at peace within yourself.

If you do not feel this, then something is out of balance in your life.

Totally out there, but when was the last time you did something outside your routine? Something to cause a few ripples. Doesnt have to be drastic as bungie jumping. But maybe stopping at that place you have been driving past to finally see what its about.

Edit: It also sounds like you think its a competition? To maybe help put it in context. Do you also want to be less and less open to new ideas in your old age like your brethren? Since it is a competition supposedly after all. A race to "this is what life is when your this age". There are always two sides to those "I should be at X by now".

JKMakowka · Mar 2005

Well... imagine it the other way around... all the people (with a few excerpions) around you are completly immature (not necessarily about stuff like gaming or something 'immature' like that, but about their values and goals in life and what their conversations and maybe thoughts circle around) and you can't do jack shit about it.
That's what I have to deal with lately, without trying to be snobbish about it.

At least you can change it your self, BUT I would question if what you feel is more 'emotionally mature' really is exactly that, and not just what society wants us to believe.

Anyways, making friends just is a lot harder when you grow older; people have their everyday lifes, work, families etc. Just look how many people still have a few childhood friends, and otherwise only 'colleges' from work.
You can't really compare that to school, where a bunch of bored children with a common enemy (teachers

) where imprisioned the entire day

But oXYnary is right, the only way out is to brake with habits, and even than it is not a easy way to go.

NoSeRider · Mar 2005

When you're younger, you're concerned about your popularity and acceptance.

When you're older, you're more concerned about day to day existance and long term goals.......if that wasn't true, then people wouldn't move or seek new jobs in other states, there by cutting ties with people that accepted them....or divorce for that matter.

If you know 2 or 3 people that accept you and you can trust, then consider yourself a rich person.......if you're expecting a mob to love you, well that's kinda unrealistic.

However, that's what politicians and movie stars expect.....people often say politics and hollywood is an extension of high school, I guess that's the reason why?

jzero · Mar 2005

When I was young, I always acted more mature than people my age. But I really don't think I hit full emotional maturity until I was 23 or 24. It's hard to tell, actually, because I had critical life-crisis happening from about 24 to 27. That kinda hardened me, and I don't know whether it would have happened that way without the crisis.

Anyway, when I look back upon my young adult life, I see all the places where I could have, and should have, done better. Promoted myself, made decisions opposite to what I did, made the moves on the girl, etc. But then, I know that the person I was then couldn't have made decisions any other way.

So I won't say I have regrets, but I do sometimes wish for Uncle Rico's Time Machine (but one that works).

PaK -- don't be a wuss. Get out in the world and do what feels right for you. Most bad things will fail to kill you, so you can always move on if you make mistakes.

/jzero

uh oh, all soft and mushy

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