It starts May 12, and ends Sept 12. Let's see what you got!
https://polycount.com/discussion/237047/the-brawl²-tournament
People with Autism + ADHD innatentive who aren't medicated do you have any advice to be productive?
EDIT: I will try to cut down on YouTube videos while I work, just music.
It's not done yet but this is where I am with my first VRChat avatar. Here's a few screenshots: https://imgur.com/gallery/succubus-Tl1QKzk (contains wireframe nudity)
Hey, so let's say I've had a bad day. I've been working on this avatar for almost two months, I do it slowly because every day is a struggle for me, probably depression which isn't surprising, and it's also my first attempt at making a character from scratch.
I went back to work on the hands to add the nails. I compared my hand with one that is made by a professional who's doing this for a living, I think. It made me upset that mine didn't look as detailed when we pretty much have the same amount of polygons. The reason why I compared is because if my character doesn't look good, who would want to buy it? I do try to not be a perfectionist, but it has to look good, too.
I am mentally fried and tired working on this project, I want to move on, or at least have a break, maybe working on a different project if that is even possible. It feels like torture every time and this is a bad sign if this is what I wanna do for work. I recently found out that I may have ADHD, which is also combined with Autism. I was beginning to accept being autistic, but then discovered there's also another type of ADHD, which is ADD, but stupidly got merged with ADHD, I just don't get it. I did my own research and it makes so much sense why I had such a hard time growing up. I am turning 32 in three days... 
I don't want to sound like a victim but I want to share what I go through. I got no job, I live with my parents, I have trauma, and I don't have much money. I don't know where I want to go in life. I want to be a freelance artist making things that I enjoy, selling models online, but now I know I possibly have ADHD and I got no medication or therapist because I can't afford it, I am thinking MAYBE it's not worth it anymore, after 14 years of using Blender. If I can't focus, get distracted, constantly losing momentum and motivation, knowing it's just gonna be a pain down the road, why even continue?
I made this post to give me hope, hoping that someone out there who doesn't use medication could share tricks to make it easier. I didn't grow up making art, I've always been a computer guy who loved video games. I saw the short film Sintel when it came out, and this is when I discovered Blender, and then I went from there.
I will take it easy for tonight but I will be around to answer your questions or reading your comments. Thank you in advance. It would mean a lot if you would take your time to help. I feel lost right now.
Btw you can call me Luc.
Replies
[...] after 14 years of using Blender
Well, one could spend 100 years using Blender knowing it fully inside out yet still be unable to make anything visually pleasing with it. If your work doesn't look good to you you need to work on art fundamentals, anatomy, stylization, and so on. Some people do manage to learn all that while learning this or that software, but these cases are more happy accidents really (although this happened quite frequently during the peak time of active CG forums, magazines and community contests of the 2000s to 2010s, since there was such a great spirit around this field as people were very motivated to get a job in a cool industry).
TLDR, if you feel stuck and dissatisfied with your art it may be time to refocus part of your energy on art fundamentals.
Also your Imgur link doesn't work, you want to make sure to post the proper public link.
It's not that I don't think I am good, I know that I am, it's just when it comes to working there are times I fully want to go modeling, and some days I am not in the mood, at all. The strange thing is even though I know I am good, my brain says that I won't manage to make money with my craft. Since I was young my mother told me constantly I couldn't do it or I wasn't worth anything.
People might laugh at me for saying this, even if I am almost 32, I can be a bit of a baby or a kid. Yesterday, just because I didn't feel like reworking the hand for a third time I got super sad, or numb? I was staring at my screen and I couldn't move, it was like I had zero emotions, I couldn't take any action, then at night the desire to work came back. It's strange... maybe it was my body's way to tell me to slow down.
Thanks for the advice!
What you wrote was so sweet, and I like that you gave a hug to a complete stranger you don't know, because every day I keep telling myself that the world we are living in is so cold and no one cares, and you showed the opposite. It was really nice and I needed that today. Here's the imgur link: https://imgur.com/gallery/succubus-Tl1QKzk
Pior told me my first link wasn't working and I fixed it.
After many years of living with low impulse control and literally no patience I have established the following two things...
- Beating your face against a problem for hours without a break rarely results in a well solved problem.
- Only ever working on things that have long term value is a recipe for burnout.
I recommend getting a block of those nice square stickynotes and a sharpie. Whenever you sense that you're getting frustrated/stuck/etc. pick them up and spend 20 minutes doodling funny stuff or little life studies.
- it keeps me (somewhat) sane at least
You use a sharpie because not being able to erase what you did is an excellent artistic training tool
You draw on stickynotes because stickynotes are temporary
also - what pior said
But looking at your model, it would probably help to plan ahead a bit more. It looks like you modeled all fingers individually, or at least switched to individual versions too early. I bet many people would find that way of working somewhat tiring. Do one more or less complete finger first and copy that around. You could still do this now and be faster than if you continue down the current path.
Also, while it almost seems to be self-explanatory, do you understand why the other model looks like it has more detail?
Work from big to small, from rough to fine, don't raise your resolution or detail too early.
And art fundamentals are definitely important. A separate hand study, maybe even "just" sketching wouldn't be the worst of ideas.
There is no shame in taking a break or switching to another project, even if you never return. Obviously it becomes a problem if you do it all the time and it's only possible with your own private stuff, but I bet most artists have plenty of unfinished stuff lying around.
I know why his hand has more details, yes, I know how topology works, but I still struggle making a hand or a foot since I never make characters. I'm more of a hard surface guy. The thing I suck at this time is tris, my models are always 100% quads, and I guess I am shooting myself in the foot by doing this, especially for a model that is going to be for VR when everything will turn into tris anyway.
Today I will do another hand from scratch. Is it better to model a hand totally flat? I like to model a hand a bit bent, as well as the fingers. My friend who knows a lot about avatars because she's a rigger, she tells me all the VRCHAT avatars have flat hands when t-posing because it is easier to add bones and rig it.
Get a pot of tea or coffee, chocolate biscuits, put on some lofi and get to work.
Look for what works for you. See how other people do things. Try different workflows: even if you don't end up following them, maybe it'll help you see things differently. Practice on smaller projects.
Try to keep yourself in motion, but also don't forget to just stop and take a break. Know your limits before breaking through them. There's always a feeling that you have to be doing something, but there need to be a healthy balance in everything.
Also, having fun is important! It may not be constant and all-encompassing, but there have to be some fun at least.
My writing setup it far from fancy, a pen and loose sheets of paper ripped from old notebooks from my student days that didn't get fully used up. I leave the lists on my desk or pinned up. The thing about physical lists is that I can't minimize and ignore and forget about them, and the friction of loading some stupid app in first place to create and edit them isn't there either, it's just pen and paper, so I feel far more inclined to keep up with them. And not trying to keep them in my head helps to not only in not forgetting things but to keep the stress down, otherwise there's this pressure of endless lists of lists of things to do and the weight alone of all these undone stuff, never crossed out, can wear you down pretty fast.
They're also helpful in studying. Producing something stunning on the first try is a happy accident, not a reasonable expectation. Sometimes previous knowledge from different areas (eg anatomy from drawing) carry over, and this helps in reducing the amount of things you got to study, but keep the amount of things you're studying manageable. Break down a study into small morsels, a list of tasks or subjects, pick only a couple to really study and settle for "it works" for the others. Every bit you study and understand now becomes something you don't need to worry as much in the next project. This knowledge accumulates, so give yourself the room to get things wrong now knowing this is what allows you to get them right in the future.