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DESTROY ME CRITIC LOL

Created these 3 d piece to show a kid who created a mini gun that's supposed to be like police machine but made of materials a kid would have access too. that shoots cheese balls. Don't be afraid go all in on the critic. THANK YOU !!!!!

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  • teodar23
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    teodar23 sublime tool
    Your scene is very noisy and not pleasant to look at. Too much stuff is happening. Its confusing to determine what is the main focus. My eyes are drawn to the "mobile garden" first because its in the center of the screen and the white material in light is very distracting.
    Being that its a custom made object - that people dont see every day - the material definition should be very good in order for the viewer to know immediately what they are looking at. If the brain cannot determine within a couple of seconds what it is that the eyes see, it will get frustrated and bored. It takes some time to figure out what each part is and that is due to the material definition mostly. In some cases, like the brown object on the left, i gave up trying to figure out what it is.
    Just as an example, google "michael lassel work of man". Its a painting that has a lot of details in which you can clearly understand each object because you can read both the shape and the texture really well.
    The dirt and grime is pretty random and not very realistic. Dirt gets caught in the crevices and corners of an object most often. Also it usually lands on an object by some action. For example, mud can splash onto an object or it can be added by contact.
    Two objects made of different materials that are near eachother can influence the material. For example, that rusted cylinder would create a rust mark on the blue wooden box. The weels of the mobile garden look almost pristine for some reason.
    Also think about how objects are joined together, dont just intersect some geometry.
    And why are there so many butterfies in the scene? Are they the focus of this diorama? Dont think so, they are just another distraction from the real focus of the scene.
  • kjethrow
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    thank you so much will begin working on this today

  • kjethrow
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    what about this one
  • OfficialPeeper
    Better! I think you could improve it even more by:

    -Either removing/replacing the flowers with something less detailed, as they draw attention away from the minigun
    -Putting a perched butterfly at the end of the minigun's right barrel
    -Hanging the police hat off the left cheese ball jar
    -Making the "BACKYARD POLICE" letters more visible
    -Lengthening the barrels of the minigun
    -Reducing the amount of detail on the scope
    -Making it clearer what exactly the tips of the minigun barrels are made from (the lighting makes it kind of hard to understand)
    -Clearing up the weird fog on the glass of the left cheese ball jar
    -Adding muck and dirt to the wheels
    -Adding muck and dirt to the inside of the wheelbarrow
    -Removing all the stars from the minigun barrels and body
    -Lengthening the grass to match the age of the minigun
    -Darkening the grass

    And that's it! You can choose what you can/want to implement. This is just my opinion after all. Have fun!
  • Ashervisalis
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    Ashervisalis grand marshal polycounter
    If you gave it a slightly desaturated yellow background, it would give it an analogous colour scheme and might look nice.
  • pixelpatron
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    pixelpatron polycounter
    Readability is just not gonna work on this guy in it's current form, don't waste any more time on it. For next asset really work on the silhouette and getting pleasing shapes. Less is more. It looks like you made a bunch of assets and just jammed them together, they don't really work as a group. Simplify. 
  • Brian "Panda" Choi
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    Brian "Panda" Choi high dynamic range
    Reduce the number of flowers in the flower bed.
  • kjethrow
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    Thanks everyone!!! I learned a lot from you comment will be taking this into consideration on the next art piece. Have a great day, and make it a great life :)

  • Rozwell_Ramirez
    One thing I must say is, I can see you experimented a lot in the initial image with materials all over the place. cant wait to see what you do next with what you learned!
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