Home 3D Art Showcase & Critiques

Shadow of the pyramid

polycounter lvl 2
Offline / Send Message
Legion_studios polycounter lvl 2
hey guy's for my first post here I thought I do something with an Egyptian theme since I like the ancient Egyptian culture and I think it would be something neat to have on this forum:)

created in blender rendered in cycles

A2ETasy.jpg

ps this is not my first project I have been doing a bunch of stuff behind the scenes for practice etc ^^

any comments would be appreciated

Replies

  • Brian "Panda" Choi
    Options
    Offline / Send Message
    Brian "Panda" Choi high dynamic range
    The ground texture is really low fidelity and low res in comparison to the quality of the rest of the scene.

    I would, as a first small baby step, fix that first.
  • Legion_studios
    Options
    Offline / Send Message
    Legion_studios polycounter lvl 2
    nah just it's just a picture also I just nabbed the sand texture from the internet
  • Brian "Panda" Choi
    Options
    Offline / Send Message
    Brian "Panda" Choi high dynamic range
    Overall this is reading "Work in progress" and not done. But the way you presented it made it seem like it was "done," but as an artist, this does not look done.

    You're going to have to spend significantly more time on this to make this look good, and game environment ready if that is your goal.

    Additional critiques:
    - All the objects in this scene seem to have just a material just put onto it. The dog statues are too shiny and clean to seem real and/or perhaps of a particular style. Same with the black stone platforms. The pyramid and large doorway seem to just be white Lamberts, with no work done to show that they are stone, etc.


    And I have to ask now so we can frame further feedback better, what do you want to do for a career?
  • specsowl
    Options
    Offline / Send Message
    specsowl polycounter lvl 6
    Hey man. I gotta tell you props for posting online. I meet so many people that are afraid to post work online and get critiques. So hey, props to you.

    Secondly, here's some critiques on the scene. One important thing is that scenes are cool, but the assets in it are the most valuable parts imo because if those fall apart then the whole scene kind of crashes in on itself. Take one object and really focus on making it look as good as possible, but maybe not obsessively. Now I know you didn't spend a ton of time on some things (like the ground) because you even said you nabbed it from the internet. This is bad for several reasons:

    1. It says you don't care (and you don't want to say that!)
    2. It can cause a lot of issues with liability, though a little project wouldn't hurt that bad. But seriously, art taken off of google could be unknowingly tied to a license and that's a problem. Places like cgtextures and gametextures are fantastic resources for game art textures to get you started!
    3. Check out the polycount wiki on things like texturing and making things look realistic.
    4. A common mistake is even though something is cartoony doesn't necessarily mean simplistic or spent less time on. Look how detailed game series like the Retro Donkey Kong games or Ratchet and Clank look.

    Egyptian scenes are always cool! I'd like to see you revisit this
  • cholden
    Options
    Offline / Send Message
    cholden polycounter lvl 18
    If you like "ancient Egyptian culture" wouldn't you focus more on the technical accuracy of the architects, the precise carving, the hieroglyphics or ANYTHING that actually represents ancient Egypt culture as opposed to googly eyed gold jackals on onyx floating over sand?

    You're on the right path, but need reference. Foundation, the based of which everything is built. Reality as silly as it is in fantasy still required. Consider how it's built, push those concepts into the scene.
  • fearian
    Options
    Offline / Send Message
    fearian greentooth
    nah just it's just a picture also I just nabbed the sand texture from the internet
    ..
  • Legion_studios
    Options
    Offline / Send Message
    Legion_studios polycounter lvl 2
    ok fine thanks for the critics guy's as you can tell the sand texture is a bit low res and I know that and the pyramid it's self was mostly made from my imagination / memory but my favorite part of the scene would have to be the Anubis statues
  • A-N-P
    Options
    Offline / Send Message
    A-N-P polycounter lvl 6
    The Anubis statues don't look realistic. Their eyes are cartoony. For everything in the scene I'd recommend collecting as much reference as you can and really trying to nail the accuracy as 'cholden' was saying.

    Your textures could use some work. The sand is way too low res and there's no material definition on anything in the scene.

    Composition-wise there is none. You could frame your scene a little better with other elements and also think about adding some detail to the horizon in both models and form... Right now it seems to just be a flat plane.

    It's a good start for one of your first projects, you just need to study your subject matter and work on your textures a little more.

    There's tons of info on how to improve these here on Polycount and elsewhere. A good place to start might be http://cgi.tutsplus.com/software-and-tools/blender
  • Jeffrotull
    Options
    Offline / Send Message
    Jeffrotull polycounter lvl 3
    Keep practicing buddy and keep posting the critiques here will only help you improve your workflow. I agree with A-N-P as far as those tuts go, check those out. Definitely take a look at some references online to maybe do something with those eyes and the overall model itself, I like your shape in your statues but it doesn't take a trained eye to know there's something a little off.
    anubis_dog.jpg
  • Brian "Panda" Choi
    Options
    Offline / Send Message
    Brian "Panda" Choi high dynamic range
    Just in case, legion, do you have a grasp on the workflow for a game environment? Or do you need a general outline first?

    Understandably, getting thrown into a tutorial playpit may be a bit much initially.
  • Legion_studios
    Options
    Offline / Send Message
    Legion_studios polycounter lvl 2
    Hello im back with an update

    Change log
    added brick texture to the pyramid(made it look like limestone)
    replaced causeway with a wall
    got rid of the Anubis statues
    added new sand texture.

    and here it is

    Vl3mges.png
  • Legion_studios
    Options
    Offline / Send Message
    Legion_studios polycounter lvl 2
  • Katori
    Options
    Offline / Send Message
    Katori polycounter lvl 7
    It's a good start but not quite there. Give some more definition to your ground by subdividing it and creating hills/dunes.

    Similarly, your pyramid looks to be composed of four polygons. You can either use displacement textures on it to give it the appearance of real brick or you can build it out of real, small bricks. It may seem tedious but your scene is lacking in what we call "geometry" (number of polygons rendered).

    Check out some brick modeling tutorials (sculpting programs like Mudbox, Zbrush and Blender can help with this). You have a good concept but the next step is adding definition to your surfaces.
  • Nesmos
    Options
    Offline / Send Message
    Nesmos polycounter lvl 6
    Its looks good at the moment, but the pyramid is just a triangle as katori said, you could add steps or indentations to make it seem that the surface is uneven and not symmetrical, also the sand texture is a little dark compared to the rest of your work its a little jarring. also the wall looks alright but maybe try to separate it into different polygon blocks and add some differences to each one.
Sign In or Register to comment.