fighting for the gray and green on a conceptual 2d level!
(WIPs after the post)
easy piece #1:
"dr. dreadington's incredible inflatable angel-breaker"
the first one is "dr. dreadington's incredible inflatable angel-breaker"! dr. dreadington was one of the high-torturers in the ranks of evil and came up with most of the more creative and portable ways of dealing with the enemy. you see, the minions of good are ALWAYS getting annihilated by our superior forces of evil, but what do we do with all those pesky do-gooder corpses? i'll tell you what we do, we toss them into the inflatable angel breaker!
the inflatable angel breaker is made up of a series of demon intestine and dragonic stomach lining. once filled up with the patented "pür evil" gases, the angel breaker can process up to 4 dozen angels an hour and is still compact enough to fit into any demonic logistics package! what a deal!
in this image we can see the tearing appendages have a good handle on the wings while the halo snagger is ready to dispose of the angels headgear. naturally when an angel gets processed it generates a lot of energy, energy that can get transferred directly into our awesome doom cannons and debauchery projectors in the un-ending battle of good vs. evil!
easy piece #2:
"sleepy bruntus the basecamp!"
bruntus was one evil monster, all set to unleash his 41 story tall frame onto the enemy's celestial fortresses. sporting 3 rows of razor sharp teeth, seven doom-laser blasting eyeballs, and a pair of seismic horns he was all ready to extinguish those pesky good guys. only problem is, bruntus got tired.
that was waaaaay back, like back when the forces of good and evil were kind of new to the whole "eternal battle" thing. bruntus was one of the first champions of dread but he was forged to big and lazy so he fell asleep on his way to the battle field.
general fangtongue and his evil brigade of board-game-cheaters were put in charge of waking up bruntus. in the first few years there was just alot of noise happening, but nothing seemed to wake the monster up. decades turned into centuries, centuries turned into uhhh... whatever comes after centuries, and over the course of time, general fangtongue the fourteenth decided to "screw it" and bore some holes into the snoring behemoth and bruntus became a slumbering base camp of narcoleptic nottyness!
easy piece 3:
"sky tumor: the doom-copter too awesome to fly"
captain terror-face never did trust his brother's engineering. to sloppy, to many cool decals. the sky tumor was going to be un-beatable, a doom-copter with the strength of 8000 of last years models.
the construction went along as well as it could. a few thousand fatalities but that's standard for doom-copter building. it was to be a black cancer in the forces of the good and law-abiding, a fiendish lightning storm of despair and devilish destruction, it was rumored to house enough fire-power to shatter the sky foundations of heaven and send them hurtling towards the earth that they cherished so much. the bloated eye-sore was given the name the "S.S sky tumor" and it was known across the halls of the underworld, that both "S's" stood for satan!
upon the painting of the skytumor, captain terror-face grew anxious. he wanted to get behind the wheel and soar through the stratosphere and start demolishing those do-gooders. but his brother was not finished with the paint-job.
the first decal was on the hull, a smashing image of a dragon, wielding a chainsaw, fighting an army of ninja sharks amidst an environment of volcanoes... it was awesome. terror-faces brother smiled up from his mural and went on to his next piece.
on the stern of the massive war machine was a beautiful rendition of a two-headed phoenix fighting a manticore while being hit by lightning all while an army of viking undead redundantly tore themselves apart beneath the spectacle, it was quite awesome as well. cpt. terror face began to sweat,
"careful now brother." he spittled shakily,
"we wouldn't want to make the ship too awesome now would we?"
his brother chuckled and began on the wings.
it was 5 alligators in space marine armor having a unicorn barbecue, there was piles of beer and sexy strippers and robot cowboys bordering the 40 mile long wingspan. this was pretty awesome too.
the ship was also covered in flames and racing stripes, as well as the various sponsor stickers from proud evil supporters (polycount even threw in a t-shirt). the sky tumor was scheduled to fly the up coming Tuesday.
tuesday came and the ship took off, its fantastic murals and weapons glistening in the hellish triple sun like venomous frogs. it happily chopped through the brimstone laden air with its multiple propellers and the rudder steered it true. captain terror-face was pleased, at his finger tips was the arsenal of the gods and he was the avatar of good's destruction, how lucky he had been to win that radio call-in contest for his position of captain.
but something was wrong, terribly wrong.
the ship was too awesome, the combinations of murals, stripes, flame decals, hellish weaponry, and insanely stylish cup holders had cracked the boundaries that held the very fabric of reality together. the ship could not maintain flight! that would just be one more awesome thing!
so the ship hurtled across the evil suburbs and crashed into a church of un-godly power, killing its crew of 64 million.
there it sat for 4 weeks, until terror-faces brother turned it's crash point into a casino.
so that's all she wrote! i want to thank everybody who kicked my ass into gear, i had a great time seeing everybody's submissions come into existence. best of luck to the forces of evil! great show polycounters!