[Critique Please] Viewmaster

MurderzMedia

Hi guys, I am a 17 year old 3D artist who's currently teaching myself game art with help from a few buddies and I have been working on this piece for quite a while and wanted to post on here to get any constructive criticism, it would be greatly appreciated, I am hoping that one day I can land a job in the industry :pleased: 
View-Master main - 2,331 verts, 2968 tris
View-Master disk/visor - 248 verts, 402 tris

Here are the texture maps (someone asked to see them)
The texture resolution is 2048 x 2048, the disk and visor are on their own 2048 x 2048 texture maps.
Albedo

AO
Spec

Gloss
Normal

Eric Chadwick

My crit would be to not use PNGs. Use JPGs.
http://polycount.com/discussion/63361/information-about-polycount-new-member-introductions/p1#make

Blank out the background, it's distracting, it pulls my eyes away from your model. A dark gray or a dark gradient is better.

Include some specs... triangle count, texture sizes. Include the texture flats.

Put your name/website on the images. Your Portfolio Repels Jobs

Daf57

Good job! I used to have one of those 3D VMs - too cool!

MurderzMedia

Daf57 said:

Good job! I used to have one of those 3D VMs - too cool!

Haha thanks! I have never actually owned/seen one with my own eye :pleased:

MurderzMedia

Eric Chadwick said:

My crit would be to not use PNGs. Use JPGs.
http://polycount.com/discussion/63361/information-about-polycount-new-member-introductions/p1#make

Blank out the background, it's distracting, it pulls my eyes away from your model. A dark gray or a dark gradient is better.

Include some specs... triangle count, texture sizes. Include the texture flats.

Put your name/website on the images. Your Portfolio Repels Jobs

Thanks for all your comments, really appreciated them! I updated the original post with the texture maps and the texture resolutions

MurderzMedia

bump

Eric Chadwick

It's rude to bump your thread without posting some new information or a significant update of some kind. Make an improvement to your art and post that instead of just "bump".

Bartalon

Seeing as the responses so far have been focusing on things other than the View-Master itself, I would say your piece overall is going in the right direction.  All other comments considered, what's left that stands out to me is the front plastic visor and the crevice that separates the front plastic shell from the back.

The visor seems pretty clean by comparison to the rest of the body of the device.  Perhaps it's the angles of your renders but there just doesn't seem to be a lot of variation in your roughness map.  Also, I would expect there to be the occasional scrape or burr across this largely open surface as well, although probably not as much as everywhere else since it's recessed a little bit.

As for the crevices, they just look too dark.  This is probably just your AO causing the problem and might be fixed by bringing up your shadows further away from black, or just dialing back the intensity slider inside Marmoset.

The little cardboard disc has some nice touches on it, I like how you went through and put little images in the actual bits of plastic film.  The software icons was a clever use of this space, although it possibly detracts from the reality of the piece a bit.  The yellow smudging on the disc seems like it's too shiny for what I think it to be: if you are aiming to have the cardboard discolored from water staining or something like that, then it wouldn't be glossier than the white portions of the cardboard.

Overall I think it looks pretty spot on to the real thing, even if it looks like it's been dragged through the dirt for a while   Keep it up!

MurderzMedia

Bartalon said:

Seeing as the responses so far have been focusing on things other than the View-Master itself, I would say your piece overall is going in the right direction.  All other comments considered, what's left that stands out to me is the front plastic visor and the crevice that separates the front plastic shell from the back.

The visor seems pretty clean by comparison to the rest of the body of the device.  Perhaps it's the angles of your renders but there just doesn't seem to be a lot of variation in your roughness map.  Also, I would expect there to be the occasional scrape or burr across this largely open surface as well, although probably not as much as everywhere else since it's recessed a little bit.

As for the crevices, they just look too dark.  This is probably just your AO causing the problem and might be fixed by bringing up your shadows further away from black, or just dialing back the intensity slider inside Marmoset.

The little cardboard disc has some nice touches on it, I like how you went through and put little images in the actual bits of plastic film.  The software icons was a clever use of this space, although it possibly detracts from the reality of the piece a bit.  The yellow smudging on the disc seems like it's too shiny for what I think it to be: if you are aiming to have the cardboard discolored from water staining or something like that, then it wouldn't be glossier than the white portions of the cardboard.

Overall I think it looks pretty spot on to the real thing, even if it looks like it's been dragged through the dirt for a while   Keep it up!

Thanks for the feedback, working on the changes right now!

gfelton

Saw your Winchester model in the WayWo thread and was honestly blown away by it. You're really damn talented dude, I'd love to see some more of your work.